and defiant hope is born…

There was one christmas card that I received that stood out, one that came from the Redemptorist fathers.
It was not laden with flashy graphics and text, just a picture of a simple “belen” with the message “and defiant hope is born…”

I guess that really is the message of Christmas that strikes a chord -
With the shepherds whose long, lonely nights were suddenly punctuated with the overwhelming visions of angels
With the wise men whose arduous journey was finally rewarded at the end where the star shines the brightest
With hearts so wearied from the pains of love lost gradually consoled by the season of cheer
With lives so broken by misfortune and decisions slowly brought together by the warm air of love…

Yes, the shepherds may find themselves going back again to those cold winter nights doing what they have been wont to do,
And yet, their routine have been changed somehow, having touched the warm flesh of hope…
Yes, the wise men may again find themselves traversing another tortuous route back home,
And yet, their journeys will never be the same again, having realized the true goal of their wandering…
Yes, our hearts will once again realize that the only consistency of our incomprehensible human nature is its capacity to wound,
And yet, the beating of our hearts will never be the same again, for somebody else’s heart beats with us, for us…
Yes, our lives no matter our desperate attempts at mending will only be disintegrated again into a million hurting pieces,
And yet, our lives have been transformed somehow, having felt deep in our hearts that a life was born to embrace our pains…

This is our Christmas,
that love born, will be killed, but will rise again.
This is our hope -
Breaking free from the meaningless violence and death of our souls and bodies,
Bestowing upon it new life that will never end…
Breaking forth from the hopelessness of a future for our children’s children,
Bestowing upon it a meaning that we all can hold fast to…
This is our defiant hope…


lingering hope…

There are many ways to celebrate Christmas…
And more often than not, the songs we sing convey the way our hearts feel -

Like sharing the grief of a family who lost a love and a life
We cannot force hearts to go on beating
And we can never choose the time nor the season
we can only choose to accept and to go on loving…
Believing in a hope that lingers…

“Hindi kita malilimutan
Hindi kita pababayaan
Nakaukit magpakailanmant
Sa aking palad and ‘yong pangalan… “


Like being with enthusiastic and passionate young people
Who carry our burdens, hopes and fears to a future yet unknown,
For whom we are answerable
and in whose questioning faces, our doubts are more pronounced
Though we grapple with them our uncertainties
We can never stop our restless seeking
For the one who has been searching for us all along…

“Into your hands
I commit again
With all I am
for you Lord

You hold my world
in the palm of your hand
And I’m yours forever”


Like experiencing the solitude at the end of the day
After everyone have gone back to the comfort of their own homes
And the warm embrace of their families
And the only company is the music, the solemn strains of the guitar and the flute
Playing the vespers, serving as haunting reminders of the 30 days of witnessing
The birth, the call and the death, and life thereafter
And though the words of the song escape the tired mind and body
The sigh of the heart remains…
I have found what I have been looking for…
Or rather, more succinctly, I was lost… and have been found….


Hope floats…

I have a very young nephew who is hopelessly talkative
Probably enjoying the words he has learned
Taking every opportunity he can to use them
Relishing the jumble of words that escapes his lips…

And yet there was one time when mama shared with me
That when we were about to leave that he was reduced to silence
Maybe not quite understanding why the fun and games have to end
And though not able to fully articulate the pain of saying goodbye
The tears freely, though silently flowing
Gently reminded me that Christmas is also about saying goodbye
To the joyful and warm season of love and giving
To give way to the harsh realities of letting go, loving, living, suffering…
And yet, amidst the tears, he slowly walked up to me, embraced me, and in my ear whispered…
But Tito Didoy, you are coming back, aren’t you?
And that was a very strong reminder that Christmas is also about stubbornly holding on
To persons, to loves that matter to us…
Truly, the gift of Christmas is a defiant hope born in each of us…