rule of three

the crib and the cross

during christmas, there are two striking figures inside the church.

the cross which is a permanent fixture.

and the crib which is considered essential during the season.

 the crib invites us to enter into the reason of the celebration - god’s gift of himself.

it may be hard to reconcile the presence of the cross during this joyful event.

but the crib and the cross’ message are one and the same.

the awe-inspiring humbleness of the crib

and the unspeakable horror that is the cross

speaks of the one god we have - incarnate, freely and lovingly given and giving.

 wherever we may celebrate christmas,

in the comforts of plush subdivisions

or in the dark, damp squatter houses,

each of us carries within us, with us, our own crosses

experiencing painful crucifixions

and yet we still manage to smile and rejoice

for he who is almighty

has come with us, to us, for us

to tell us

that we are his special, beloved favorites

and that he will stop at nothing to show us, tell us this

whether on the joyful ocassion on the crib

or on the desperate emptiness of the cross.

 praise be god always. amen.

 

 

3 funerals and a dinner

 I just received a call from a friend. He is in town and wants to meet up before he leaves again.

I am very hesitant to go.

I can come up with different excuses.

I just recovered from sickness.

I just came from three funerals.

A mother of a parishioner active in one of our ministries.

A mother of a friend in the ministry.

A mother of my nephews and niece.

Three funerals in one day.

Three moments of sharing grief, pain and loss.

Three ways of being reminded death is a treacherous friend.

We will never know when she will come. Or how. Or why.

We are never given the choice.

But we are not helpless.

If I cannot choose when or how I will die,

At least I can choose when and how I will live.

And I choose to believe, hope and love.

Believe that death has meaning, so has life.

Hope that life has so much in store for us and so has the after life.

Love with such a fierce love that death cannot dissolve but only strengthen it.

Life is too short and I have a choice to make the most of it.

I’ll go to the dinner after all…

 

 

A dream of a homily

I just woke up from a creepy, freaky dream. Creepy because of the people involved in it. Freaky because it's in the context of the mass and I was, of all people, to give the homily, the solemnity of the immaculate conception at that! It was a very vivid dream – before I was about to start the homily, I was reminding myself to strangle the one who assigned me just before the mass! Anyway, the dream was really so vivid I have no recourse but to recall and write it down. Word for word. BVM,  this is for you…

 

As we gather as a community, as we look at Mary, there are three invitations as we celebrate this solemnity.

To be hopeful. Mary was hopeful, despite all the tragedies that had befallen her. She did not lose her mind, nor her faith. In all these, she found, or rather, God found her, and she trusted, she hoped. Tumaas man ang presyo ng gasoline, ng bigas. Magbagsakan man ang mga bangko. Magkagulo man kaliwa’t kanan. Aasa pa din ako. Tulad ni Maria. May bukas pa ang umaga. 

To be poor. Mary had nothing. She was chosen not because she had something to give, she became somebody not because she had something to offer but because God has something to give, or rather, someone to offer to her. She had nothing in her arms and she never desired for them to be filled with the riches of the world. And for that, God gave her wealth beyond this world. Mary, in her poverty, gave everything that she had, herself. And for that, God gave her all that he is, himself. Marami ang maralita sa akin. Di na mabilang sa kamay. Halos walang laman ang kanilang mga palad. Imbes na kunin pa natin ang anuman natitira pa sa kanila, marahil, hamunin natin ang ating sarili. Ano, o sino ba ang binibibigay natin sa kanila?

To be loving. Mary was loved. Not because she is special. But because God is special. God is special because of the way he loves. Unconditional. We are called and challenged to love the way Mary did, the way God loved her. Kaya, eto na lang masasabi ko – mahal ko kayong lahat na nangagalaga sa ating komunidad lalo na sa mga kapus palad. Sana hindi kayo magbago. Mahal ko din kayong lahat na nangungurakot sa inang bayan at unti unting pinapatay ang kaluluwa ng bawat Pilipino. Hindi ko kayo mababago, pero eto ang hindi mababago – mahal ko pa din kayo. Eto lang ang panalangin ko – magmahalan tayo. 

No ifs. No buts.

The Gospel tells of radical stories.
Such is the case of Matthew's response.
There were no conditions nor compromises.
No ifs. No buts.
The idealist in me declares maybe it was to drive home the point that the radical call of Jesus demands a radical response.
The realist in me cries out, Matthew must have wavered, doubted, faltered - just like Peter, Thomas, Judas.
The optimist in me begs to look again for something that I may have left out.
For some days, weeks even, I just cannot put a finger to this.
Until Fr. Hans asked me to take a seat so he can share with me a valuable piece of advice.
"We priests must accept that we will have administrative matters on our hands - decide well and decide fast, for that is not what we are about.
We are for service - that is where we should spend our time. Preparing homilies, being with people especially the poor, listening to their concerns and dreams..."
The Matthew in me has been too focused, to a point of taking pleasure in attending to administrative matters, most possibly for the feeling of fulfillment that accomplishments bring.
And yet the call was - follow me. Not do this, do that.
The Matthew in me is once again being reminded - yes, in life, in decisions, in judgments, I may have wavered, doubted, faltered at times.
That is part of life.
But that is not what the story of Matthew is alI about.
It is about the radical response.
Of loving Jesus, of being with people.
No ifs. No buts.

Homily for a Wedding

Good afternoon.

Every wedding is different.
Every wedding is the same.

While preparing the homily for the wedding, while trying to write down some ideas and points to share and reflect upon, I suddenly stopped myself and realized, kasing edad ko etong si Ryan and Mapoy. Kung hindi ako naging pari, ikinasal na din siguro ako, kung may gusto magpakasal… Seriously, I suddenly stopped myself for I realized, being of the same generation, having attended and even officiated in weddings of classmates and friends, I have often heard comments by people of the older generation – iba na talaga pag kasal ngayon. Ibang paraan ng paghahanda, pag iimbita, paggastos. Weddings today are different from the previous generations. Every wedding event today strives to be different from all other weddings also – from the invitation, to the attire, to the reception, everything… Couples desire to have a different kind of wedding, not just some run of the mill wedding because they want their wedding to be unique, special, one of a kind. Because for them, their partner is unique, special, one of a kind. That is why, all weddings, all real weddings, are the same – two hearts beating as one, desiring nothing but the best for their partner.

Another reason why I stopped myself from writing down some reflections was that, being of the same generation as Ryan and Mapoy, I realized love events, love stories, between couples are often accompanied by soundtracks, by songs, meant to capture the mood, the feeling, and the love felt. I asked what are the favorite songs of the couple. Kanta ni Ryan kay Mapoy- When I Met you. Kanta ni Mapoy kay Ryan – More Today than Yesterday. Theme song nila – Looking Through the Eyes of Love. Siguro nagtaka sila kung bakit nagtanong ako tungkol sa kanta nila, parang gusto kong biruin - kakantahan ko sila during the homily… When a couple gets married, they want, among other things, to solidify their relationship, to deepen their commitment, to express their love for each other, forever, and they will need anchor points to remind them of their vow when things get shaky and stormy – anchor points like faith, family and friends. A good song is a good anchor point – a good way of reminding yourself of how unique and special someone is in your life.
Ryan, wag magsawa kantahin kay Mapoy ang iyong awitin –
“You gave me a reason for my being... You gave me a meaning to my life, Yes, I've gone beyond existing, And it all began when I met you.”
Mapoy, palaging awitan si Ryan –
“Every days a new day in love with you
With each day comes a new way of loving you.”
Palaging awitin sa isat isa –
“And now I do believe, 
That even in a storm, we'll find some light; 
Knowin' you're beside me, And I want to remember 
How it feels to touch you; 
How I feel so much, 
Since I've found you 
Lookin' through the eyes of love.”
Every wedding is different, because the songs are different, having been chosen because they are memorable, because they describe your unique relationship.
Every wedding is the same, for there will always be beautiful music to accompany you in the wedding aisle. We hope and pray that there will always be beautiful music to accompany you in your journey in life, that your life will be a song, a song to inspire others on how to love deeply and eternally.

We have different concepts and experiences about love.
At times we say: Love is a feeling.
Most of the time we declare: Love is a decision.
All of the time, we proclaim: Love is a gift.
A wedding is a gift to each other, not just between Ryan and Mapoy but most of all between God, Ryan and Mapoy. It is a gift, a promise, a covenant made not just by the two of you but most of all by God who promised that He will be with you, all the days of your married life, for better or for worse.
Every wedding is different – the various emotions felt, how the decision to commit was made, how the gift of love was offered varies in every wedding, in every couple.
Every wedding is the same, for the love given and shared, and the presence and promise of God remains the same.

Ryan and Mapoy, may your married life be different from all others – as each of you and your way of loving is different, unique and special. May your married life be the same as all others – may the total giving of self in love be always there. Forever.

Congratulations.

time to go...

i had the unpleasant experience of telling our school doctor retainer and hospital partner
that we are ending their contract. not because they have not performed well, on the other hand,
they have done the school a great service in terms of services offered and innovations implemented.
still, another company has given a better proposal which we believe would address the needs of the school at this point in time.
my discomfort was taken away when the doctor told me she understood the situation and that all of us are on mission, we do what we can as the lord has called us and if it is our time to go, then we should go for the lord is calling us for another mission.
what was an agonizing experience of letting go
became an uplifting experience of moving on.
thank God for doctors who heal not only bodies but the spirit as well...

unhealthy obsessions

i am not sure if they are at times unhealthy.
but i do know they are obsessions of mine...

music... i may be tone deaf that is why i cannot sing. but not knowing how to doesn’t take away the right to sing along to my fave tunes. alone of course. i have interests in various genre, or i may have forced myself to, for if i have decided to live and face life that is varied, then its soundtrack must be too.

books... it took me a long time before i was able to speak coherently. my parents and relatives have to resort to many things aside from medical help, short of voodooism, to enable me to finally utter some words in comprehensible order. that’s why i love reading books. great books. to revel in the beauty of words, of communicating from the depths of one’s heart.

gadgets... it’s not that i have a lot, it’s what i believe i may need, especially for what i do. it’s not that i am adept at using everything i may have, it’s that i take great joy in discovering the many uses a thing has to offer and how it can make my life a lot easier. whatever it is, this is what i look for - ease of use, elegance. something to remind me of people’s names and faces, significant dates with destiny.

surfing the net and tv channels... it’s a great time-waster. i can’t focus on one channel, that’s just me.

movies... i only watch if a movie is of epic proportion... if not, it’s because i have other reasons not that relevant enough for discussion.

photography... im a newbie. i don’t edit. i just shoot. places, faces. life as it comes when it comes. i delete no matter how beautiful a pciture is if it doesn’t speak to me. i retain no matter how a shot doesn’t conform to rules of photography if it tugs at my heartstrings.

places... i love going to new places to remind me my world and concerns are larger than i may lead myself to believe.

people... i love being with people. on my own terms. when i want to. i think i’m not built to be much of a people person. i cherish being alone. i look forward to moments with myself. but i love being with people who share my own craziness and peculiarities for they assure me i’m normal. and i love being with people who are so unlike me (people who disagree with me and the way i look at life or approach life), i even teach myself to learn to love them if it does not come naturally to me, for they remind me to appreciate life and it’s uniqueness and how much they enrich me in particular and life in general.

work... in my next life, i hope i will be a being person. for now, i’m more of a doing person. period.

they may not appear in that order. they may not occur often. but if ever they do, they take up much of my time, if not my energy.

this is my only prayer - as a priest, as a believing person - may all of these lead me to god. amen.

lotto winner

i admit it...
the biggest pot in phillipine lotto history (p249m= $6m) did not only capture the imagination of many, but mine as well.
if i were the one who won, what would have i done with the money?

buy new things, gadgets, properties?
give some to friends, families?
give most of it to charity, church, anyone who is in need?
or give it all back to an institution capable of helping others help themselves
and go back living life as if winning the lotto never happened?

the possibilities may be long but they are not endless,
it can only go as far as the money can take it.
but the possibilities of its effect to a persons character may go more than that.
and so, again, the million dollar question remains.
what will i ever do with the money if ever i get my hands on it?

when is enough, enough?
if i have love, do i ever need the money?
if i do not have love, what will i ever do with all that money?

a couple of bucks, a million bucks?
what does it matter?
if ever i get my hands on money,
does the amount matter
with what ill do with it?
ultimately, winning the lottery should not change me.
i should change the money.

enough.
it has taken much of my time already.
it is time to pray.

today i decide to write...

i have decided i should put out my own blog.
to write.
about anything. everything.
maybe to share my thoughts.
but its mostly for myself.
that i may satisfy.
my itch to write.