young love. old love.

Tan-Sy Wedding
August 23, 2009

Marlon and Maricel, friends and families, my brother priests, a blessed afternoon.
This is a wedding that will, for sure, be very memorable not only for the bride and groom but for all of us as well.
Marlon and Maricel have been preparing for this since last year but for those who know them, we can say that this wedding was 6 years in the making.
In my 3 years of stay in the parish, I have come to know Dra. Maricel and her family and Marlon as well. I am not exaggerating that they both possess wonderful values. I am not going to enumerate all of them but only 3 of which I hope will serve as guides as they embark in this daring adventure called love.

Allow me to share with you the 3 values - generosity, prayerfulness, commitment - through 3 inspiring stories I’ve read and I’ll try to intersperse it with my personal recollections and dealings with the loving couple.

First, generosity. This is by the well known author O. Henry.
A story is told about a young married couple whose names are Jim and Della. They are poor but very much in love with each other.
As Christmas approaches, Della wonders what to get Jim for Christmas. She would like to give him a watch chain for his gold watch, but she doesn't have enough money. Then she gets an idea. She has beautiful long hair. So Della decides to cut off her hair and sell it to buy the fancy chain for Jim's watch.
On Christmas Eve she returns home, and in her hand is beautiful box containing a gold watch chain which she purchased by selling her hair. Suddenly Della begins to worry. She knows Jim admired her long hair, and she wonders if he will be disappointed that she cut it off and sold it.
Della climbs the final flight of stairs leading to their tiny apartment. She unlocks the door and is surprised to find Jim home and waiting for her. In his hand is a neatly wrapped box containing his gift he purchased for her.
When Della removes her scarf Jim sees Della's short hair, and tears well up in his eyes. But she says nothing. He chokes back the tears and gives Della the gift box.
When Della opens it, she can't believe her eyes. There in the box is a set of beautiful silver combs for her long hair.
And when Jim opens his gift, he, too, is astonished. There inside the box is a beautiful gold chain for his gold pocket watch. Only the does Della realize that Jim pawned his gold watch to buy her the silver hair combs.
Far more beautiful than the gifts is the love they symbolize.
I first came to know Dra. Maricel through his mother, Tita Lina who goes to church everyday. I hope she will not take it against me if I say, she gives generously though anonymously. But still, everyone knows her to be generous for she helps not only the parish community but anyone who is in dire need. Through Tita Lina, I came to know the whole family, Tito Vic, Maricel, Heidi, etc. And I greatly admire that even with their wealth and good standing they lived a simple, exemplary life.

Second, prayerfullnes.
This one is a story by Anthony de Mello, SJ, from One Minute Wisdom.
A newly married couple said, "What shall we do to make our love endure?"
Said the Master, "Love other things together."
To pray is to express love for God, for the Other.
I have come to know Marlon when both he and Maricel attended our PREX (Parish Renewal Experience), a week end retreat for parishioners. And since then, I see them going to mass together, praying together, worshipping God with family and friends.

Third, committment
This is a by an unknown author, from A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul
The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"
And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."
Dra. Maricel’s generosity extended to sharing her God given talents, by serving others, for I see her often, sometimes with Marlon, as a regular volunteer in our parish monthly medical service.

There are many other inspiring values that Marlon and Maricel possess and that I am sure their friends and families will never tire of extolling but for now, on this graced occasion, I have enumerated these 3 for I hope that these will be of help to you both as you enter the married life.

Marlon and Maricel, continue to be generous to each other, to give of yourself totally in marriage, in love, knowing that as you come before our Father to express your total self giving, God will not be outdone in generosity, that he will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.

Maricel and Marlon, continue to be prayerful, to allow God to journey with you as husband and wife, and in the future, near future, I hope, as I am sure it is what your families also wish, that as you become not only husband and wife but also father and mother, you will teach your children and grandchildren to pray as Jesus has taught us knowing that as you come before our Lord Jesus to pray and to ask for heavenly blessing, God is always there, will always be there for you.

Marlon and Maricel, continue to commit yourself to each other, to share your time, talent and treasure to one another and to others that you may fall in love with each other every day, again and again, that you may grow deeper in sincere faith in God and love of neighbor, every moment, every day, knowing that as you come before the altar of the Lord to exchange your vows, to ask the Holy Spirit for strength to be faithful and true to your covenant of love, God has, is and will continue to commit himself to both of you, to be always there transforming the water of human love into the sweet wine of divine love, allowing you to share in the gift of everlasting love.

The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"
The answer was, Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."

Let me end with an old Irish blessing and prayer, for all its content, I know these may be a Chinese blessing also:

Marlon and Maricel:
May God be with you and bless you.
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortunes
and rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
from this day forward.

Marlon and Maricel:
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

I trust that it is our loving God who brought you two loving and beautiful couple together to share a young, promising love forever.

I pray that you will work together with this same God of ours for Him to bless your journey that as you grow old and reach the end of your adventure, though your hands may be gnarled, though your faces may be seamed, though your hearts may be physically bowed and tired, you may inspire us still as you proclaim, yes, young love is beautiful. So is old love.

Marlon and Maricel, congratulations and may God bless you both. Always.

pighati

Sa limang taon ko ng pagpapari
Marami rami na rin akong namisahang patay.
At halos lahat mararamdaman mo talaga ang kalungkutan sanhi ng pagpanaw.
Maging bagong panganak na sanggol o di kaya may edad ng kapamilya
Nandun pa din ang pighati
At ibat ibang paraan ng pagpapahayag.
Mababakas sa mukha
Makikita sa pangingilid ng luha
O kaya sa malakas na pag atungal.
Meron na akong napuntahan isang beses
Sinusubukan ipakita ang lungkot pero nag-uumalpas pa din ang ngiti.
At di ko mapigilang magtanong, mukhang masaya po kayo?
Kasi po pinamanahan ako ng milyon milyon.
Gayunpaman, may kalungkutan pa din.
May napuntahan nga ako
Naglulupasay pa sa kabaong
At pinipigilan ang lumisan na umalis
At kung minsan nakikiusap kung pwede pati siya isama na din
May mga nababaliw nga talaga dala ng matinding dalamhati.
Nalulungkot tayo sapagkat tayo ay namatayan.
Isang emosyon na normal na nararamdaman sa ganitong okasyon.
At kung bakit tayo nagmimisa eh hindi para sabihin wag malungkot
Kung hindi para bigyan tayo ng pangtapat sa lungkot
Ang presensya ni Hesus na nakapako sa krus
Nakikiisa sa ating karanasan
At nagpapahayag
Ang buhay ay di nagtatapos sa kamatayan
Kundi sa buhay na walang hanggan.
At eto nawa ang panghawakan natin
Upang di tayo tuluyang matalo ng pighati
Na sa kabila ng dalamhati ay may mag uumalpas pa ding ngiti
Di dahil tayo ay nagmana ng milyon milyon
Kung hindi dahil umaasa tayo na ang ating mahal na kapatid ay magmamana ng higit pa dun
Ng biyayang makasama ang Diyos habambuhay…

emergency

Sa sobrang pagod ko dahil sa mga skedyul ng parokya at personal na buhay
Naisipan kong magpahinga.
Pag hapon mo ginawa yun
Tawag dun siesta
Pero simula kasi college ako
Tinanggal ko na ang ugaling pagsisiesta
Isa kasi yun sa mga oras sa seminaryo na kung saan ang karamihan ay nagpapahinga
At pagkakataon ko lasapin ang nakakabinging katahimikan.
Kung minsan nilalagyan ko pa ng mas malalim na kahulugan
Di ako nagsisiesta sapagkat itoy nagmula sa mga kastila
Kaugaliang naipasa sa atin nung tayo ay sakupin.
At kapag ginawa natin ay tumatanaw lamang tayo ng utang na loob
Sa mga taong nilupig ang ating lupang sinilangan.
Tumatanaw naman ako ng utang na loob sa kanila dahil sa Kristianismong dala nila
At kahit na kasama dito ang pagkakaroon ng mga Padre Damaso
Inaamin ko na ang krus na dala ay mas naging mabisa kesa sa espada.
At ng hapon na iyon, ako nga ay nagsiesta.
Di dahil sa tumatanaw ako ng utang na loob.
Pagod lang talaga ako.
At biglang may kumatok.
May tao raw sa baba.
Kaya bumaba ako.
May 2 ale.
Humahangos.
Nakikiusap.
Kung pwede raw pumunta ako.
Emergency.
Pakiramdam ko, doctor ako. Meron maysakit. Naghihingalo. Kailangan ng tulong.
Bakit ho?
May patay ho.
Teka lang.
Ano emergency dun?
Except of course, naiinip na ang patay. O gusto nila buhayin ko agad. Ni sa aking panaginip di ko naisip gawin yun.
Wala po kasi ang pari na kinausap namin, di raw sya pwede.
Kelan po ba ito?
Ngayon na po.
Ay oo nga pala.
Emergency.
Pag sinabi kasi ang salitang yan, ibig sabihin, its a matter of life and death.
Kung sa analohiyang ginamit ko kanina, bilang isang doctor
Kailangan pumunta agad ang manggagamot
Dahil kapag hindi, tigok ang pasyente
Walang tanong tanong
Walang pagdadalawang isip
Punta agad kung hindi yung alive magiging dead.
Pag sa pari naman kasi at patay ang pinag uusapan at sasabihin emergency
Its really not a matter of life and death.
Its a matter of the dead.
Nang pumunta na kami at inaayos ko na ang gamit para sa misa
Nakita ko sa gilid ng aking mga mata ang pamilyang puno ng kalungkutan
At nakita ko na din sa gilid ng aking mga mata
Ang lumisan nilang mahal sa buhay
Lulan pa sa stretcher straight from the hospital
At bago ipasok sa crematorium
Nilagay muna sa harapan ng altar upang misahan.
Tanggal ang natitirang antok ko mula sa attempt ko na magsiesta.
Kailangan harapin ko ang katotohanan.
Di ako pwedeng magmisa ng patagilid at tingnan na lang ang mga magisisimba sa gilid ng aking mga mata.
Baka mas lalong maiyak sila noon. At mainsulto.
Kaya nagmisa na ako.
Alam ko ang mga ganitong sitwasyon, lumilipas din.
Sabi ko ito sa mga kapamilya. At sa aking sarili.
May mga sitwasyon talagang tumatatak sa iyong isip.
Communion time, papunta na ako sa harap
Nakayuko at taimtim na hawak ang katawan ni Kristo
Ng masagi ko ang pumanaw
Nalaglag ang kanyang kamay
Di ko naman magawang hawakan, makipagkamay at magpakilala
Napaka unhygienic nun, eh magpapakomonyun pa ako.
Unang nakapila ang misis
Sa gilid ng aking mga mata napansin ko nakatingin siya sa akin
Tiningnan ko din
Tumingin siya sa malayo
Sa mga attendant doon
At sila ang nagbalik ng kamay na lumaylay
At bumalik na ulit ang sense of normalcy.
Ganun pag emergency
Di mo alam kung ano ang mga mangyayari
Tinatanong nga ako kung bakit sumasama ako sa mga nagmamadali upang puntahan ang patay at basbasan
At ang pabalang kong sagot, ako ang pumupunta kesa ang patay ang pumunta sa akin
Pero ang totoo nyan
Gawain ko bilang pari
Pakikiisa sa mga nagdadalamhati
Sa mga taong naghahanap di lamang ng kasagutan
Sa karanasan ng kawalan
Kundi higit sa lahat
Sa presensya ng Diyos
Na nagbibigay pangako
Ng buhay na walang hanggan
Na kung saan wala ng emergency
At isa sa mga tanging magagawa ko ay makilakbay
Upang magpaalala
Ang Diyos ay palaging kasama natin
Maging trahedya man o kasayahan
Di mo na siya kailangang sabihan pumunta dahil emergency
Kasama natin siya dati pa.

nakakainsulto

Nakasaad sa ating konstitusyon, Article 7, Section 2, para makapaglingkod ang isang tao bilang presidente ng republika ng Pilipinas, kailangan na siya ay umabot na sa edad na 40, nakarehistrong botante, marunong magbasa at magsulat, mamamayan ng Pilipinas simula pa pagkapanganak at nanirahan sa bansa sa loob ng sampung taon.
Walang sinabi tungkol sa academic degrees. O sa height.

Ibig sabihin, may pag-asa ang samutsaring tao,
Maging titulado sa kilalang unibersidad katulad ng up o ateneo
O di kaya ordinaryong mamamayan katulad ni mamang sorbetero.

Mas maganda kaya kung di na lang edukado ang presidente natin?
Abogado naman tulad ni Marcos pero andaming recorded na human rights violation.
Ekonomista naman katulad ni Arroyo pero as per record, naghihingalo ang ating ekonomiya.
Kaya lang kasi, sinubukan na din natin ng isang school drop out katulad ni Erap, pero kahit termino niya, drop out pa din.
Kahit nga jail term niya, di kayang tapusin.
Minsan kasi napapailing na lang ako sa mga nababasa kong sagot ng mga opisyales at miyembro ng gabinete natin na may pinag-aralan.
Hahayaan daw ba natin ang isang presidente natin na kumain sa ordinaryong kainan?
Sa loob loob ko, katulad ng ordinaryong burger stand na kinainan ni Obama at Biden?
Hahayaan daw ba natin magutom na lang ang ating presidente?
Pwede kaya pahingi ng listahan ng menu nila at ipapakita ko sa aking mga parokyano na ang ilan ay nagdidildil na lang sa asin para may mailagay sa tiyan?
At hahayaan daw ba natin na sumakay siya sa eroplano na di tayo sigurado ang seguridad.
Kasama ba dito ang commercial flights?
Parang ayaw ko na tuloy lumipad, unless maglabas ng ad si Lucio tan at Gokongwei at magsabi na safe ang mga eroplano nila?
At paano naman kung government planes?
Kawawa naman ang ating air force.
Bawat lipad pala nila, kailangan manguros kasi kung ganun eh isang paa mo nasa libingan na.
Kung ako ang tatanungin, mas maganda pa, bigyan natin ng first class na mga fighter planes ang ating mga sundalo.
Tutal, mas madalas sila lumipad kesa ki GMA. O teka, mas madalas pala lumipad si GMA.
Eh takot naman pala siya sumakay sa flying coffin,
Takot naman pala siya mamatay,
Takot naman pala siyang humarap ki Lord,
Bakit kaya?

Sa akin lang ha, nakakainsulto ang mga sagot nina Remonde et al.
Parang tingin, di tayo marunong mag-isip.
Para naman din daw ito sa susunod na presidente, ang napakagandang jet.
Di kaya naiinsulto si Mar Roxas noon, kung sakaling manalo siya
na iba na ang nagdesisyon sa kanya kung ano ang sasakyan niya, maliban sa padyak?
Di kaya nakakainsulto kay Mike Velarde yun, kung sakaling siya ang manalo,
Na iba na ang magdesisyon sa kanya, kung ano ang sasakyan niya,
Sa pagpunta sa mga barangay o di kaya prayer meetings?

Naiinis ako pag may mga ganung sagot na nakakainsulto sa aking likas na katalinuhan na bigay ng Diyos.
Minsan gusto kong kalimutan na ako ay isang pari at gusto ko silang batukan.
Pero, teka lang,
Bat ako magagalit sa kanila?
Bat ako maiinsulto?
Eh sino ba ang humalal sa kanila?
Sino ang naglagak sa kanila sa ganung posisyon?
Di ba tayo?
Bago tayo mapikon at mainsulto,
Bago tayo mangalaiti sa galit,
Isipin din natin ang ating sariling pagkukulang
At kung sino ang unang dapat batukan.

PS. At huwag mo din talagang subukan batukan ang mga opisyales ng pamahalaan. Sana magdalawang isip ka. Malulupit ang PSG sa kanilang pinapanghawakang pangako na ipagtanggol ang ating mga piniling punong tagapaglingkod. Tingnan ko lang kung gamitan ka ng maximum tolerance.

best birthday gift?

As I celebrated my birthday, I look back on what I often consider as the best birthday gifts I have ever received.

Sunday before my birthday,
Naannounce ko, non-working holiday.
Sa lahat ng sangay ng gobyerno.
Makikisakay na din ang simbahan.
Kasama na diyan lahat ng mga sekta. At kulto.
Pag non-working holiday, nagkakaisa lahat.
Inannounce ko, holiday!
Birthday ko kasi.
Palakpakan ang mga tao.
Tuwang tuwa.
Saan daw ang handaan?
Ano daw ang handa?
Sabi ko, depende yan kung magkano makokolekta natin.
Hahaha.
Teka, bat ako lang ata natawa dun.
Humingi ako ng panalangin.
Sabi ko, I’ll be turning 33, the age of Jesus when he was crucified on the cross.
Palakpakan ulit ang mga tao.
Parang gusto ata akong ipako sa krus.
Ako lang ang di natawa dun.

An old man went up to me and wished me well.
And complimented me on my homily.
At least, now I know, there is someone who does not nod off when I rattle off.
He said, he looks forward to what I have to say.
That he pays attention to every comma and period.
Huh?
He added, he relishes every word I have to say.
Eksakto daw lagi sa buhay niya.
Oh.
At least yun, naiintindihan ko. Naaalala ko kasi ang mga salitang sinasabi ko.
At di ko maalala na sinabi ko, explicitly, comma and period.
Well, of course, sometimes, I say period.
But I dont’ say that all the time. Only to drive home a point.
By the way, May isa akong propesor, talagang sinasabi niya, comma.
Di ko siya makuhang gayahin.
Anyway, what he said afterwards warmed my heart.
I am praying for you always, Father.
Assurances like that, promises of those kind,
With or without compliments
Always warm the heart,
Always connecting our hearts with the Heart beating for each one of us
With the Heart who loves
With the heart who gives hope.
Thank you dear God for the gift of life
And for the gift of lives all around me
And most of all for the gift of your life in whose name we kneel to honor and serve.

life worth living

Salamat po sainyong pagdalo at pagbati.
May isa akong kaibigang pari, kapag dumarating ang kanyang anibersaryo/kaarawan, may isa siyang ginagawang kakaiba at nakakatuwa - kumakanta siya. Ayokong takutin kayo kaya ang aking ginawa ay nagresearch na lang para sa aking homily.
Marami palang mga tradisyon ang ibat ibang mga bansa pagdating sa kaarawan.
In Canada, in Quebec, the birthday person receives a punch for each year they are alive and then one for good luck.
In Germany, when men reach the age of 30 and they still don't have a girlfriend that they have to sweep the stairs of the city hall. All there friends will throw rubble on the stairs and when you're finished  they'll throw some more rubble there. This way every girl can see that this man reached the age of 30 and still doesn't have a girlfriend (and that he can clean a house very well!).
In Vietnam, everyones birthday is celebrated on new years day.  Not only is Tet the beginning of a New Year, it is also everyone's birthday. The Vietnamese do not know or acknowledge the exact day they were born. A baby turns one on Tet no matter when he/she was born that year. Children say they were born in the year of the symbol of the lunar calendar for that year.
In Hungary, when gifts are opened, everyone pulls on the earlobes of the birthday person and says a little rhyme. The rhyme is translated into English as follows "God bless you, live so long so your ears reach your ankles".
Sa Pilipinas, madami din tayong tradisyon, mga nakakasanayan at pauso. Pamisa. Txt greetings. Pagbati sa facebook.
Ngayon, simpleng almusal. Pot luck. Di natin tatapatan ang pangulo ng Pilipinas na kayang gumasta ng $20,000.00.
Ngayon, Biblia para sa Bawat Pamilya. Subukan natin mabigyan ang mga pamilya ng biblia (sa halagang P50 bawat biblia, mula sa Phil Bible Society).
Iba ibang nasyonalidad, iba ibang tradisyon, iba ibang pamamaraan ng pagdiriwang kasama ang mga kapamilya at mga kaibigan sa pagpapasalamat sa biyaya ng buhay. Sa likod kasi ng mga tradisyon ay ang iisang pagbati, panalangin at pagtanaw ng utang na loob sapagkat may bagong araw, may bagong hamon na naman upang mahalin ang Diyos at ang kapwa.
May mga naniwala ng mag announce ako na holiday ngayon kasi birthday ko. Mataas pa din pala ang credibility ko. Sa totoo, inaalaala natin ang dakilang sakripisyo ni Ninoy Aquino ngayon. At sana patuloy nating sasabihin, the Filipino is worth dying for. Hindi, the Filipino is worth dining for.
At bilang isang Katoliko, inaalala natin si Pope Pius X na ang naging motto ay “To Renew All Things in Christ,” bilang isang alagad ni Kristo na nananampalatayang ang buhay ay biyaya ng Diyos, patuloy pa din nating sasabihin, life is worth living for.
And how should we live life?
In the 1st reading, Ruth invites us to sing her song with our hearts, hands and feet, for our neighbors. Wherever you go, I shall go, wherever you die, I shall die, your people shall be my people.
In the Psalm, we exclaim, praise the Lord my soul!
In the Gospel, Jesus ties it up by teaching us:
Love the Lord your God with all your mind, will all your soul, with all your heart.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
That is a life worth living.
Muli, Maraming salamat po sa inyong pagdalo, pagbati at pakikiisa sa panalangin.

haus 2 haus

Nag-ikot kami kagabi sa mga bahay bahay para personal na anyayahan ang mga prospective participants sa darating na Marriage Encounter Week-end.
Ang strategy, two pronged - binisita na sila ng mga community leaders at mga sponsoring couples ng Marriage Encounter para plantsahin na kumbaga para pagpunta ko, tiklop na agad sila.
Sinimulan namin ang pag-iikot pagkatapos ng misa sa gabi at pagkahapunan.
25 couples ang bibisitahin.
Parang madami.
Parang nakakapagod.
Iniisip ko na lang, isi sales talk ko sila na umatend.
Maglalako ako.
At si Lord ang produkto ko.
At General Manager.
Sana matuwa siya sa output ko.
Iniisip ko na lang ang iba pang mga maglalako.
Katulad ng nagbibenta ng taho.
Malamang di lamang 25 na bahay ang bibisitahin niya.
Kasi pag inisip niya agad ang dami at ang pagod - wala siyang kikitain.
Baka kulang pa perang kinita pampamasahe pauwi.
Maglalakad na naman siya pauwi bitbit ang lagayan ng taho.
Yun na lang iniisip ko, mga katulad ni mamang magtataho.
At bakit ba naman makukuha kung magreklamo eh ako naman ang nagkagusto nito?
At wala naman akong bitbit kundi listahan ng mga pangalan.
Unang bahay na pinuntahan namin, tumanggi agad.
Magandang pangitain.
Nagsisimula pa lang ako magsalita, sinagot na agad ako, di pwede, may trabaho.
Ok po. Maraming salamat!
Paalis na kami ng biglang nagpahabol ang isa sa mga kasamahan ko.
Si fader na nga pumunta, aayaw ayaw pa kayo diyan.
Eh bakit sino nagsabi pumunta siya dito?
Nakupo, mapapaaway pa ata kami.
Liko na agad ako sa kabilang eskinita, mahirap na.
Sunod na bahay na pinuntahan namin, biglang may dumambang aso,
Talagang walang atubili sa kanyang intensyon sakmalin ako.
Muntik na akong mapasigaw.
May phobia ako sa mga asong askal na mukhang loaded sa rabies.
Wag po kayong mag-alala fader, sabi ng kasamahan ko, nakatali po naman ang aso, sabay hawak sa braso ko at punta sa likuran ko.
Umayaw din ang maybahay. May trabaho si mister. Katunayan nga nasa construction site pa siya.
Pangatlong bahay, medyo malayo ang pinto at kailangang dumaan sa masikip na daan.
Sinabihan ko na ang isa sa mga kasamahan ko, mauna ka na.
Sabi ng isang bata sa may tindahan, wag ho kayong mag-alala fader, wala na pong aso diyan.
Namatay na.
Kinagat ng daga.
Kinagat ng daga!
Di ko na alam kung matatawa o matatakot.
Saan ka nakakita ng asong kinagat ng daga?
Pang Guiness.
Sana di kasinglaki ni Godzilla ang daga.
Pero mukhang mas malaki pa ang mga hinaharap kung hamon.
Tumanggi na naman. Trabaho ulit ang dahilan.
Pang-apat na bahay, rejection ulit. Trabaho din.
Habang hinihila ko ang aking mga paang kasalukuyan ay nagiging kasing bigat na ng tingga patungo sa panglimang bahay, naisip ko, kailangan kong magpalit ng strategy.
Naglaro ako sa umaga ng tennis at sa loob ng isang oras di ko naramdaman ang pagod.
Ngayon, ten minutes pa lang, damang dama ko na ang bigat ng mundo.
Pero may pakinabang din pala ang tennis, pag natatalo ka na, kailangan change strategy.
Kung hindi, love set ka. Zero. Bokya.
Kaya pagpasok sa bahay, kwentuhan agad.
Naku, bagong opera si misis. Nakasaklay pa.
Tatanggalin ang bakal sa binti. Tinaas pa nga ang duster para ipakita sa akin ang humihilom na sugat.
Umurong bigla ang dila ko.
Pero naisip ko ang tennis analogy ko.
Kailangan umiskor.
Inanyayahan ko na siya sa Marriage Encounter. Week end retreat para sa mga mag-asawa. Napakagandang experience. Isa sa mga pinaka the best na maaring ibigay na regalo sa inyong pinakamamahal. At walang kailangan dalhin, sarili lang. Gamit, pagkain, atbp, ay libre. Di ho kayo magsisi na umatend nito. Napakagandang karanasan. Mapapalapit ka talaga sa Diyos.
Pumayag. Kaya lang pwede bang dalhin ang anak niya? Wala kasing mapag iwanan.
Sabi ko, op korz. May mga taong magbabantay at makikipaglaro sa kanila.
At agad tumakbo utak ko kung paano mag put up ng Day Care habang may Marriage Encounter.
Kung ganun, maasahan niyo po ang aking pagpunta.
Yes! Sabay, mentally, pump ng fist! 1 point!
Score: 1-4.
Bumalik na ang sigla ko at ng aking mga kasamahan.
Natapos kami bandang alas diyes.
Patulog na ang huling binisita namin.
Pumayag agad.
Di na kami pumunta sa iba pang nirerekomenda.
Parang mahirap na kasi.
Mangimbita na ka lang daw sa lasing, wag lang sa bagong gising.
Let’s call it a night.
Score: 16-9.
Not bad.
Sana pagreport ko sa aking General Manager, matuwa siya sa sales ko.
At di ako sisantehin.
At next time, sana, panalo ulit.

earth shaking

Madami akong natutunan kapag nakikipagmeeting sa mga leaders and volunteers ng parish.
Yan ang advantage pag magagaling ang kinukuhang leaders at sila ay binibigyan ng pagkakataon magsalita.
Sa aking palagay, di na dapat nagsasalita palagi ang pari sa meeting o brainstorming.
Sapat ng mag isa siyang nagsasalita sa misa kapag nag homily, o nag sermon.
Sapat ng magbigay ng direksiyon sa meeting at hayaan ang iba maglagay ng detalye.

Isa sa bagong natutunan ko , sa financial literacy.
Income - Savings - Expense.
Earth shaking, ika nga ng nagshare sa amin.
Kailangan maituro ang pamamaraan na ito sa mga miyembro ng microlending.
O sinumang nais makapag-ipon at umasenso sa buhay.
Pag may kita, kaltasin na agad ang dapat ipunin saka ang tira ay ibudget para gastusin.
Priority ang pag-iipon at di ang pagasta.
Kadalasan kasi, kung ano ang natira, yun na lamang ang tinatabi.

Ganun din sana sa tithing.
Income - Tithing/Savings - Expense
Priority ang pagtatabi sa tithing.
At ano ang tithing? Taos pusong pagbabalik ng ikapu sa Diyos ng biyayang tinanggap.
Kadalasan kasi, kung ano ang natira, yun na lamang ang tinatabi.
At ang maliit na parte nun ang pag-iisipan pang ibalik sa Diyos.
Di malugod sa loob pa nga kung minsan ang pagbibigay.
Di na tuloy naging first fruits.
Sapilitan.
Ano kaya nararamdaman nin Hesus habang tinatanggap ang mga ito?

Ganun din sana sa pagdarasal.
Time - Prayer/Work - Rest.
Priority ang pagdadasal.
Uunahin at ibibigay ang best time at best efforts para sa Diyos.
Di tira tira ang binibigay para sa Diyos.
Kaya binibigay natin ang abot ng ating makakaya
Bilang pagtanaw ng utang na loob
Sa Diyos na di lamang nagbigay sa abot ng kanyang makakaya
Kundi ng kanyang sarili, mismo.

mayaman

Tuesday, 20th Week in Ordinary Time, Year B

Noong nakaraang linggo, nagkaroon ng brainstorming ang mga miyembro ng finance council at microlending tungkol sa mga dagdag na pamamaraan para matulungan ang mga miyembro mg microlending at sinumang miyembro ng parokya na mapalawak ang financial literacy. Para magabayan sila sa pag-asenso sa buhay. Para matulungan pangalagaan ang perang kinita at ang hanap buhay na pinagpapaguran. Isa sa mga gagawin ay series of modules on basic financial literacy at may kaakibat na pagtuturo na pang spiritwal. Pangunahing libro na gagamitin bilang basehan ng pagawa ng modules ay yaong sinulat ni Bo Sanchez “8 Sikreto Para Maging Tunay na Mayaman.” Gagawin natin ito para matulungan ang kapwa, magkaroon ang kapwa ng pera, umasenso sila sa buhay, at maging mayaman, sa madaling salita.
Pagkatapos, maririnig natin sa ebanghelyo, sinasabi ni Hesus, mahirap para sa isang mayaman na makapasok sa kaharian ng Diyos!
Parang ang hirap unawain!
Nahirapan ka ng tumulong sa tao maghanapbuhay siya at magkapera.
Nahirapan na siya magtrabaho, kumita at mag-alaga ng pamilya.
Pagkatapos, pag umasenso na, maririnig niya - mahihirapan siyang pumasok sa kaharian ng Diyos!
Parang unfair ata.
Sa unang tingin, mukhang pinapaboran pa ata ang mga taong ang tanging motto ay - di baleng tamad, di naman pagod.

Sa aking palagay, ang isang susi na maaring gamitin para mabuksan ang mahiwagang salita ni Hesus ay matatagpuan sa pagtingin sa reputasyon ng tao, sa pagkakakilala sa atin, base na rin sa ating ginagagawa.
May mga taong mayayaman at kilala bilang mapagbigay. Kasi yun ang ginagawa. May mga taong mayayaman at tinatawag na kuripot kasi kahit isang kusing di makuhang magbahagi.
May mga taong mahihirap din at kilala na mapagbigay, kasi ganun talaga sila. May mga mahihirap at binabansagang kuripot dahil di talaga nagbibigay kahit anong pilit pa ang gawin.
May mga pari din na ang reputasyon ay mukhang pera. Masungit. Tamad. O di kaya mabait, masipag, matulungin. Kasi ganun ang pinapakitang ugali at gawain.
May mga taong kilala na banal, mayaman o mahirap, pari o hindi. Kasi yun ang priority nila sa buhay, ang mahalin ang Diyos at ang kapwa.
Kapag tinawag kang mayaman, di dahil lamang ito sa hawak mong kayamanan, kundi dahil sa attitude mo tungkol sa iyong yaman.
Priority ang yaman. Di ang Diyos.
Kaya mahihirapan makapasok sa kaharian ng Diyos.
Dahil sila mismo di pinili ang Diyos.
Di sila mahihirapan pumasok sa kabilang kaharian.
Kasi yun mismo ang pinili at ginusto nila.
Ang tanong at hamon sa atin, ano ba ang pagkakakilala saiyo ng iba?
Sapagkat malamang, yun na yun ang ginagawa mo.
At yun ang magiging susi kung saang kaharian ka madaling makakapasok.

investment

Namili ako sa book store.
Mga libro.
Sandamakmak.
Babasahin niyo po lahat yan?
Hindi, ibebenta ko. Sagot ko yan, sa loob loob ko. Sa totoo, ang sagot ko, syempre miss. Babasahin ko yan. Yan naman ang ginagawa sa libro di ba?
Dami po kasi. At ang mamahal. Sana mabasa niyo lahat, para di sayang.
Talaga. Babasahin ko lahat. Sayang talaga kasi pag di ko binasa, para lang akong nagtapon ng pera.

Para sa akin, para saan ang pagbabasa?
Investment.
Dati, nagbabasa ako para mag-enjoy.
Ngayon, nagbabasa ako para i-share sa iba ang enjoyment ko, at mga natutunan ko.
Mas nagiging sulit kasi ang pagbabasa.
At mga ginastos.
Makita ko lang kasi na napakinabangan ang nabasa ko
Pati ako busog na din.

Ano ba talaga para sa akin ang investment?
Isang bagay na nagpuhunan ka, at sana ibabalik saiyo ng mas malaki.
Sa tingin ng iba, may mga risky investments at mga good investments.
Safe ka sa investment na edukasyon.
Kahit gumastos ka ng malaki sa tuition ng anak mo, igagapang mo, pawis at dugo.
Kasi magandang investment yun sa kinabukasan ng anak mo.
Maging sa Ateneo man siya enrolled o sa Matute House of Fashion.
Safe ka sa investment na negosyo o di kaya trabaho.
Kahit magpuyat ka umaga at gabi, gagawin mo.
Kasi magandang investment sa kinabukasan mo at ng iyong pamilya.
May mga pyramid scams.
Milyones ang kanilang nakukuha,
Madami kasi ang naloloko. At nagpapaloko.
Napaka-unsafe na investment nyan.
Sugal.
At sa totoo lang, wala pang nananalo sa sugal.

Bakit ba ako nag-iinvest sa mga libro?
Kasi nakakahiya pag naimbitahan ako para magtalk.
At wala akong masabi. Kesa naman magbigay ako ng jokes na napupulot sa wowowee.
Di naman ako nanonood noon.
Boring siguro kung puro karanasan ko lang eh mas maganda, at exciting, kung personal na karanasan ng mga mga bayani at santo.
Meron akong mga nakakasalamuha, pero mga silent heroes and saints kumbaga.
Bihira lang ang mga nagsusulat tungkol sa kanila.
So far kasi, wala pa akong nakasalamuhang pormal na itinalaga na santo ng simbahan. Normally kasi, kailangang namatay ka na, o pinatay, bago ka gawing santo.
At mas lalo ng wala pa akong nakahalubilong opisyal na bayani ng pamahalaan.
Sana naman, bago ako mamatay, may masilayan akong opisyal na pagtatanghal ng mga bagong bayani ng bansa, lalo na mga pulitiko.
Kaya sa libro ko na lang nababasa ang mga tungkol sa kanila.
Lola ko nagkwento sa akin dati ng mga tungkol sa santo.
Pero I’m sure, nabasa nya din yun sa libro.
May mga bagong proyekto at plano ang parokya.
Kailangan kong manguna sa pag-aaral.
Bumili ako ng mga libro para may mai-share sa mga lideres at parokyano.
Mga libro sa pastoral management, leadership, spirituality, financial literacy, etc, etc.
Umabot ng limang libo ang halaga.
Ang mga pahina nya, marahil higit pa dun. Sana di ako abutin ng ganun kadaming araw sa pagbabasa.
Baka nalipat na ako ng parokya, di pa ako tapos magbasa.
Nakasama ko ang nanay ko ng mamili.
Nagtaas siya ng kilay.
Sabi ko, investment to.
Pati isa pang kilay niya, tumaas din.
Ba’t kaya di ko namana yun?
Ok na din. Pasalamat na din nagaya ko sa kanya ang kapayakan.
Walang alahas. Di nagmamake-up. At di naglilipistik.
Pag kabaliktaran ginawa ko, tyak, maraming magtataasan ng kilay.
Naimbitahan ako magtalk sa isang community.
Doble pa sa halaga ng pinamili kong mga libro ang binigay sa akin.
Gusto kong tawagan ang nanay ko at sabihan, see, I told you!
Pero di ko na ginawa. Baka kasi humingi pa ng komisyon at kung anoano pa ang gawin sa kilay niya.
Anumang makuha sa ministry, kailangang ibalik sa ministry, kung hindi baka pati si Lord magtaas ng kilay.

Syempre, the best investment ay ang pagsunod sa kautusan ni Hesus:
Mahalin mo ang Diyos ng buong puso at buong kaluluwa.
Mahalin mo ang iyong kapwa tulad ng iyong sarili.
Pag nagpuhunan ka sa ganun, tiyak, mas malaki ang babalik sa iyo
Sa totoo lang, higit pa sa iniisip mo.
Sa totoo lang, di mo lubos maisip ang kayamanang matatanggap mo.
Subukan mo.
Di sugal to.
Sigurado, panalo ka.

libre

PS While I was on retreat, in one of my spare time, I wrote about a personal experience in which I reflected that when you generously give, God will bless you with abundance. I posted it in my blog because I felt it was worth sharing.
After the retreat, well, before it was about to end, I went to the retreat house office and requested the secretary as I handed her a thousand bucks, to buy 2 half gallons of ice cream for my brother priests and the guides, my sort of treat as we end the retreat and as my birthday nears. I specifically requested rocky road and double dutch, my favorites. The secretary said the sister in charge of marketing has already left but she will do her best to contact the sister. God bless the inventors of cellphones!
After the retreat, on my way to lunch, the secretary intercepted me. And returned my money. And so I thought they were not able to buy the ice cream. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts. What she said, jolted me. Father, sister said, there is no need to pay for the ice cream. It will be their treat to you priests. Wow. And when we finished lunch, there were not two half gallons but three! God bless the sisters!

PS 2. Kinaumagahan, pagkatapos ng retreat, nasa parokya na ako. May kumatok sa pinto. Isang baliw. Humihingi ng pera. Actually di naman talaga siya baliw. Sa tingin ko lang, baliw. Subukan mo kasi kumatok sa bahay bahay at manghingi ng pera. Sigurado, tatawagin kang baliw. Pera? Libre? Ano ka, hilo? Maliban lamang kung nangaroling ka kapag pasko, minsan bibigyan ka, kaya lang, dahil sa kahirapan ng buhay kadalasan sasabihan ka, patawad po. Next time na lang. Next Christmas na lang. Tinanong ko kung para saan gagamitin ang pera. Sabi niya para sa kaniyang apo na nasa ospital. Ayun, marangal naman pala ang hangarin. Sabi ko, magkano po kailangan ninyo? 500 po. Teka lang po ha. Umakyat ako sa kwarto at kinuha ang wallet ko. Tatlong isang daan at limang tig bebente. 400! Kulang pa din. Buti na lang may mga coins ako naitabi. Nagbilang ako ng mamiso at bente singko. Parang pondo ng pinoy. Umabot din naman ng isang daan. Thank God. Nilagay ko sa supot at binigay ko sa ale ang aking love offering. Sabi ko, pasensya na po sa aking nakayanan. Yan na lang po talaga maibibigay ko. (Maliban sa wallet ko na walang laman). Sa hapon, may fiesta mass sa isang mission area ng parokya. Masaya ang handaan. Mababait ang mga tao. May mga nagpabless ng bahay. May mga nagsuksok ng pera sa aking bulsa, Fader, pagpasensyahan niyo na po yan. Ayun, talaga naman. Nakakahiya namang tumanggi. Pagkatapos, nagfacilitate ako ng planning sa young adults. Sa tuwa ko, nagpa ice cream ako. Nagpass the hat din sila. Mas dumami ang ice cream. Ayun, nawalan na naman ng laman ang wallet, pero puno naman ang tiyan. At puso.

Mga pasakalye lang ang mga iyan.
Ang tunay na kwento ay nang may binili akong board game sa book store.
Miss, magkano?
P900 po.
Mahal ah. Wala bang libre nito?
Wala pong libre dito. Wala pong libre sa mundo.
Meron miss, tulad ng ngiti. Pag-ibig. Atbp.
Anuman pong di mabibili ng pera, libre. Sabay ngiti.
Ayun, marunong naman pala.
Totoo nga naman, anumang di mabibili ng pera, libre.
Tulad ng ngiti. Pag-ibig. At marami pang iba.
Pero, bakit kaya, kung alin pa ang libre, yun pa ang hirap tayong magbigay?

advertisement

Napakinggan ko sa radyo.
Bagong advertisement ng Cossack Blue.
Maganda.
Walang music. Walang sound effects.
Straight to the point ang message.
Crisp. Clear.
Tulad ng benefits ng Cossack Blue.
Daw.
Di kasi ako umiinom nun.
Sa totoo lang, di ko pa nakita kahit anino nun.
Ok na sa akin ang Mompo.
One small shot goes a long, looong way.
At walang punch line ang advertisement.
Deretso na agad sa, Drink Moderately.
Parang paalala sa buhay.
Everything in moderation.
Paalala sa mga pulitiko.
Lalo na sa ating pangulo.
Moderate your greed.
Yun lang.
Walang punch line.
Unless of course, gusto niyo na naman dumagsa ang masa sa EDSA.
Tayo naman kasi, parang mga loko loko.
Di na natuto.
Di marunong magpunch line.
Di pa rin nagbabago.
Paulit ulit.
Parang inuman sa kanto.
Walang katuturan.

love your neighbor. love your God

Monday, 20th Week in Ordinary Time, Year B

We can see the consistency of Jesus when dealing with people, when responding to their questions.
One time, when one of the Pharisees tested Jesus with a question, "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" (Matthew 22:36). 
Jesus replied, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'  This is the first and greatest commandment. 
And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
In the Gospel, (Matthew 19, 16-22) a young man approached Jesus and said, “Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?”
And the reply of Jesus was - love your neighbor.
And what is love of neighbor? Sharing one’s wealth, protecting and honoring the dignity of life, of relationships and the good name of others.
We are to be our best, to do our best with our life here on earth, and we do this by living our lives not for ourselves but for others.
And the young man was commendable not just in his humble acknowledgement on how he conducted his life but also because of his truly loving and generous heart.
Still, largely unsatisfied, he asked, what do I still lack?
And Jesus, not explicitly stating the commandment to love God, but rhetorically stating and concretely laying down the demands of loving God, said,
Sell what you have and give it to the poor. Then, come follow me.
We are to strive to make a good life here on earth by going about doing good.
But there is a better life, the best life, the after life.
It is a very radical way of asking, are you sincere in your desire to enter heaven?
Are you serious in your desire to love God?
Prove it.
Leave everything behind and follow me.
Whom do you worship? God or money?
Prove it.
Give up everything you have. For God.
Sooner or later, like the young man, we hope to ask Jesus the same question - what must I do to enter heaven?
If we will not ask Him, He will be the one to ask us- do you want to enter heaven?
If you answer with a resounding yes, then when Jesus invites you - go and sell what you have and give to the poor,
What will be your resounding answer?

morbid

20th Sunday in Ordinary Time


If you will be given the choice on how you are to die, what would it be?
Plane crash, sinking boat, vehicular accident?
Long and lingering illness, fast food poisoning death?
I also asked myself the same question and prayed over it.
I said, Lord, if possible, let mine be a swift and painless death.
Still, if you wish that my death will be long and painful, let it be dignified and that I be beside my loved ones.
And yes, Lord,you may also take your pick, surprise me.
One time I was having lunch with a priest and a parishioner.
I asked the priest if he already made his last will and testament.
As soon as a priest is ordained in the diocese, he is requested to make one.
That’s how we are prepared for ministry in a way, by preparing us for the end.
I told my priest friend that I have already finished my last will.
And included there is my explicit instruction that all my body organs be donated - eyes, heart, lungs, kidney.
I would not be needing them anyway.
We were enjoying the conversation over pasta and pizza when the parishioner interrupted us,
Fathers, stop it! It’s morbid!
It’s true.
It’s morbid.
Still, I will ask again, if you will be given the choice on how you are to die, what would it be?
Why am I asking?
Because, first of all, it is the reality.
We are all going to die.
Believe it or not.
Like it or not.
As one columnist bitingly remarked, no one gets out of life alive!
And second of all, it is in confronting the reality of death that we begin to seriously confront the reality of life.
It is in acknowledging the fact of dying that we affirm the importance of the fact of living.
The comedian, George Burns once said - many say, life begins at 40, I say, life begins every time you wake up.
The Gospel says, life begins when you receive the body and blood of Christ.
That is in eating the flesh and drinking the blood of Christ that we realize what is most important in life - God, relationships.
Loving God who took on our body and blood and shed it for our salvation.
Loving our neighbor, our flesh and blood, as ourselves.
We are to make the best that life has to offer so that we will receive the best life that God has to offer.
We make the most of life, and we must remember what is our true goal in life, not money, not positions.
We may be considered the luckiest if we earned billions and be counted as one of the richest people on earth.
We may be considered blest if we get the highest position in the land.
But that is not our mission.
They are only instruments for us to discover our mission - which is to love God and neighbor.
So as we celebrate the mass, let us remember
True life does not begin at 40
New life does not begin every time we wake up
Fullness of life begins when we receive the body and blood of Christ.
And as we say our amen and accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour,
May we invite others, the unchurched, our friends and families to do likewise,
That all of us may have life everlasting.

isms

7 reflections/whatnots.

Recruitment/Commitment
Very aggressive ang recruitment sa simbahan.
Observe mo.
Matindi.
Kaliwa’t kanan.
Minsan di hayag. Minsan harap harapan.
Ibat ibang ministries. Organizations. Communities.
Buti na lang di na nakikisawsaw ang mga fraternities, sororities at gangs.
Sa mga taong simbahan pa lang kasi, loaded na.
Lectors and commentators, ministers of communion, choir, collectors, usherettes.
K of C, CFC, AP, MBG, CWL at lahat ng acronyms na maisip at di lubos maisip.
Di lang membership, pati na din sa fellowship. At fundraising. Or all of the above.
Minsan pati ako narerecruit.
Fader, sama ka na sa ballroom dancing naming mga Adoracion Nocturna!
Daming DI, kulang ng sasayaw. Late na daw kasi. Hanggang 10pm lang daw kaya ng iba.
At ang makukuha namang pera, para sa bagong damit ni Maria, Ina ng Laging Saklolo.
Juskopo, help! Di ako marunong sumayaw. Sa ibang bagay niyo na lang ako irecruit at hingian ng commitment.
Ganun naman kasi pag nagrecruit, para hingian ng commitment ang tao.
Panliligaw.
Kaya lang, kadalasan, nangyayari, lipatan lang ng kinabibilangan.
Palitan lang ng commitment.
At uniform.
Di dapat ganun.
Para sa akin ha.
Kasi, ano kaya pakiramdam mo, agawin ko sayo mister mo? Boyfriend mo?
Di ba, away yun?
Wag mo na siyang kunin.
Sabi nga ng mga teens, Fadz, its magulo. Its complicated.
Maghanap ka ng single. At available.
Kasi pag hindi, pangangalunya yun.
At ano ang pangangalunya? Pakikiapid.
At ano ang pakikiapid? Pangangalunya.
Sa madaling salita, namamangka sa dalawang ilog.
Katoliko tayo, kaya dapat isa lang ang asawa, este, commitment.
Kung ayaw mo, lumipat ka ng ibang relihiyon.
Ewan ko lang kung may tatanggap sayo.
Maging muslim o iglesya kasi,
Tig-iisang Diyos pa rin.
Kaya, next time mangrecruit tayo,
Please lang,
Recruit natin, bagong mukha,
Wala pang commitment,
Single and available kumbaga.
Wag ng magulo.
Unless of course, enjoy ka sa paglalagay sa status mo, its complicated.
Complicated ka lang talaga. Wag ka ng mangdamay. Please lang.



Special
Paano pag may taong nakikiusap at humihingi ng special na pabor sa Simbahan?
Alam na natin yun. Yung Special. Kakaiba. Para special ang dating.
Pag nakiusap, pinapaliwanagan ko na di pwede, sa kadahilanang komunidad tayo, lahat tayo special children dahil lahat tayo children of God.
At pag pumayag, Praise God! Tunay siyang pagpapalain ni Lord. Promise.
Kasi pag pumayag ako, ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga pinaliwanagan ko, tinanggihan at umintindi, kahit papano?
Nakakahiya, di ba?
Nakakatakot pa nga, baka kung ano pa ang gawin nila sa akin.
Maawa naman kayo sa akin.
At kapag nakiusap ng pangalawang beses, at may bitbit pang padrino o kung sino pang pilato na malapit daw sa simbahan o close kay fader, daw.
Balik ulit sa mas masinsinang paliwanagan.
Ika nga, back to square one.
Pag nakatatlo na, at may kasama ng mga personalidad na mas maimpluwensya sa lipunan, katulad nina Ninoy Aquino, Jose Abad Santos, Josefa Llanes Escoda at Vicente Lim, ganun na naman ulit, mas matinding paliwanagan, tatlong beses na kaya memorized ko na ang paliwanag. Di ko lang alam sa kanila kung talagang sobrang lalim ng sinasabi ko at di maintindihan o maabsorb o nagbibingibingihan na lang talaga. Sa loob loob ko lang, di ko kailangan mga kasama niyo, mas kailangan niyo sila, sa pagpapagamot ng katigasan ng ulo.
Gusto ko nga rin lagyan sila ng sign sa likod, “ako ang awayin ninyo (o di kaya saksakin sa galit) dahil ako ang dahilan kung bakit pumayag si fader sa special favor na hiningi ko,” kung pwede nga, all caps lahat.
Actually, pag ganun na katindi ang pakiusap, pinagbibigyan ko na ang mga taong nang-iistorbo pati ng pari dahil lang sa sariling kapritso. Mahirap daw gisingin ang mga taong nagtutulugtulugan.
Sa ganitong sitwasyon, eto na lang pinapanghawakan ko, pagpapalain ako ni Lord. Panalangin ko yan. Promise.


Donation
Paano pag may taong nagbibigay ng patago?
Fader, wag mo na ipaalam sa mister ko na nagbibigay ako ha. Tiyak, magagalit yun.
Tinatanggihan ko ang mga ganun. Kung pwede lang.
Mapanganib kasi ang ganung gawain.
Malamang kahahantungan lang yun ng away ng mag-asawa pag nagkahulihan, at kadalasan sa mga ganitong sitwasyon, habang naglalaba si mister ng mga damit ni misis at nakita sa bulsa ang resibo ng parokya.
Medyo ok na nga lang ang masakit na palitan ng salita, mahirap kasi pag maging pisikal na.
At mapanganib din sa akin yun. Damay ako sa crossfire. At di naman para sa akin ang pera. Para kay Lord. Bakit pati ako, mapapaaga ang pakikipagkita kay Lord?
Kaya ang advice ko, wag na lang po. Ibigay nyo na lang po sa mister ninyo ang pera ninyo.
Sa kanya na lang po kayo magdonate. Siya na lang po ang turuan ninyong magbigay kay Lord.
Marunong na po kayong magbigay at yun naman po ang mahalaga.
Para po eto sa kabutihan at kapakanan nating lahat.
Pakiusap lang.


Good News/Bad News.
Father, I have bad news and I have good news.
What do you want to hear first?
Of course, as usual, give me the good news first. Then the bad news.
The good news, we cannot do something about. Except feel good. It has served its purpose - it has strengthened us to receive the bad news gracefully.
Good news first then the bad news.
Not even the best good news can be a lot better in news than the best of the worst news. Bad news will always take center stage.
That is why we will listen to it. For us to know how to boot him off stage.
Why listen to news?
Good news - to prepare us for the bad news.
Bad news - to change them into good news. If we can.
How? Solutions, of course.
There are bad news and there are bad news.
There are bad news that we cannot change. Calamity is the other word for it.
There are bad news that can be resolved. Most of us call them problems.
That is what we will solve, problems. Bad news.
So that they will become good news.


One Big Idea
I come up with a lot of ideas every day. Hundreds of them.
I am not kidding.
I am not exaggerating.
That is why I have a notebook with me, beside my bed, in my office.
That is why I love my phone for having an electronic post it note app. And a voice recorder.
Before, I find having these ideas annoying, disturbing, distracting.
Until I got to listen to my very young nephew declaring - I have so many things on my mind and I don’t know what to do, I think im going crazy!
My family thought it was funny. I thought it was cute especially if it happens to someone else other than myself.
Oftentimes I take it as a challenge. Now I have come to just accept it as a fact of life.
There are ideas and there are ideas.
I would be lucky if one of those ideas would work. And I would be the luckiest in the world if I get to know which of those ideas would be the one big idea.
That is why I write them down. Play with them on my mind. Test them. Put them outside the box. Put them right in. Put them out again. Until the ideas get tired of playing around with me. Until I get tired of them ideas playing around with me. Until I get a firm hold on them. Until I get hold of enough courage to test them. To see if they will work in real life. If not, then it’s back to the drawing board…


Mangarap Ka
Ang lawak ng ating kayang gawin bilang isang parokya, komunidad, alagad
Ay magiging kasing lawak lamang ng ating pangarap, ng ating imahinasyon, ng ating pagtitiwala sa kapangyarihan ng Diyos.
Actions come later.
Ideas, plans, dreams need to come first.


Salita/Gawa
Di lamang dapat tayo puro salita at walang gawa.
Di naman dapat puro gawa at walang salita.
Kailangan may salita tayo na magtutulak sa atin para gumawa.
Kailangan may gawa din tayo na nagpapatunay sa ating mga salita.
Kailangan may salita tayo na makakatulong sa atin para makagawa.
Kailangan may gawa din tayo na tumutulong sa ating mga pinagsasalitaan.
Kailangan may salita tayo para maunawaan natin ang ating mga ginagawa.
Kailangan may gawa din tayo para mapalalim ang ating mga salita.
Malalim ang koneksyon ng salita at gawa. Iisa sila, pinagbuklod ng Diyos.
Salita at Gawa, Diyos mismo.

strit mas

Isang beses, naisipan kong maglakad, di lang basta maglakadlakad kundi pumunta sa mga kalye at eskinita ng parokya. Wala lang. Naisip ko lang. Ginagawa ko naman to, lalo na pag may street mass, tulak ang kariton ng Ascension. 
Pero ngayon ibang klaseng street mass ang naisip ko. Wala akong dadalhin kundi makikigamit ng mga kasangkapan ng mga taong aking makakasalamuha at umaasang dun ko na mismo matatagpuan si Hesus. 

Kanta. Puno ng ibat-ibang tunog ang mga kalye at bahay. Halos lahat merong tv. Syempre mas sikat ka pag may videoke ka. Kung wala, pwede naman umupa, mura lang naman, at kung birthday ni junjun, mas masaya ang handaan pag may kantahan. Di gaano mahalaga kung sa tono o sintunado, basta kumanta ka, masaya na ang buong tropa, wag lang My Way ni Frank Sinatra. Kung magaling kang kumanta, may pangalan ka na, at pag ubod ng galing, magsisitanguan pag may nagsabing ka-level mo na si Sarah Geronimo o di kaya Charice Pempengco. At pag may class ka na katulad ni Juday, baka may magsuhestiyon pa na magrecording artist ka na kaya? Kung masikip ang bahay, ilalagay ang videoke sa labas. Masaya ang mga awitin, kahit nga si ate na naglalaba sa tabi, nakikisabay. At palaging bibigyan ng pagkakataon kumanta ang isang batang very promising, baka pag sumikat at tumanaw ng utang na loob, isa ka sa mga unang maambonan o kahit man lang mamention pag guesting niya sa isang noon time show. Palaging aawitin ang mga alam ng kanta, may mga gasgas ng tugtugin pero uulit ulitin pa din, nakakarelate daw kasi. With feelings pa ang pagkanta. Super emote. Basta wag ka lang kumanta na di alam ng iba. Magmumukha kang weird. Tatawagin kang weird. O abnoy. Kaya nga may lyrics sa videoke, para makasabay di lang ang nakatoka kundi pati na rin ang mga nakatunganga. Sa mga tulad ko na di naman marunong kumanta, prinaktis ko na lang at naperfect na ang pagpalakpak ng malakas. Pagdating sa kantahan, no dull moments talaga!

Pagbasa. Bibihira ang makita kong nagbabasa ng pahayagan. Kung meron man, mangilan ngilan. Karamihan, tabloids. Mura na, entertaining pa. Halos lahat marunong magbasa. Yung ibang di marunong, nagpupumilit magbasa, kakainggit kasi makita ang ibang natatawa habang nagbabasa, parang may nagtawanan at di mo maintindihan ang joke, o mas malala, baka ikaw na ang pinagtatawanan. Sa mga di talaga kayang magbasa, pinapabasa at pinapakwento sa iba. Parehas din yun. Kailangan lang, malaki ang tiwala mo sa taga basa na yun talaga ang nakasulat ang binabasa sayo, baka kasi di rin siya marunong magbasa at umiimbento na lang. Ako naman, di ko alam kong matatawa, matutuwa o maiiyak sa mga tabloids na nabasa ko - Lola Pinisak ng Trak. Bata, Pinilahan. Mama, Nabaliw sa Gutom. Presidente, Kumain sa Halagang P1M sa Tate. Buhay ngayon, balita bukas, kasaysayan sa makalawa. Di naman lahat trahedya, may mga mumunting liwanag naman masisilayan na kahit papano nagbibigay ng pag-asa at nagsasabi, oo, may bukas pa. Katulad ng janitor at security guard na binalik sa may-ari ang naiwanang alahas o di kaya dolyares. O ang isang OFW na hinahanap at hinabol ang may-ari ng perang naitapon sa basurahan. Sana nga, ang mga politiko, matutong ibalik ang hindi kanila. Tiyak, headline yun!

Pag-aalay. Mababait ang mga tao. Pag piyesta, kahit malubog sa utang, ok lang, basta may handaan. Ano kami, poor? At kahit sino, welcome, kahit di kakilala, kahit ngayon lang nalaman kamag-anak pala. Pwede pa nga magbalot at mag-uwi, titingnan ka lang naman ng masama. At, anak, wag mong gagalawin yang hita ng manok, kay fader yan! Kahit walang okasyon, pag kumatok ka, papasukin ka, at kahit walang makain, yayakagin ka pa din. Ikaw muna ang papakainin, at ang mga anak ay papaglaruin muna sa kabilang silid. Makita ka lang na busog, busog na rin sila. Mapagbigay ang mga tao, magbibigay talaga basta marunong ka lang humingi, o maglambing. Wag na wag ka lang magnakaw. Tiyak, gulpe ang abot mo. Di ko sinasabing tama. Di ako nananakot. Kinikwento ko lang ang mga nangyayari sa tunay na buhay. Bibigyan ka, basta marunong ka lang humingi, di na kailangan mag 2nd collection, nakakainsulto na yun, sapat ng magbigay ng kusa, bakit may pangalawa pa?!?

Kalis, Alak at Tubig. Fadz, tagay! Parang mahirap yata tumanggi. Nakakahiya. Nakakatakot. Marami na din akong horror stories na narinig tungkol sa mga taong ayaw makitagay. Pero umaayaw pa din ako. Hindi talaga ako umiinom ng hard. Baka kasi di na ako makauwi ng di tinatahi ang kalye. Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga nanay nanayan ko? Binigyan ko pa sila ng kahihiyan. Sinumpa ko na kasi ang hard drinks nung high school ako sa seminaryo. Astig ka kasi pag uminom ka, pero pag humiga ka na at sabay ng umikot ang kama at kisame, di bale na lang na di astig. Madalas hard ang inuman sa kalye. Sosi ka pag beer. At mas sosyal ka pag San Mig Light. Kaya gin pomelo kadalasan. Para sa mas matagal tagal na inuman. Ok din ang Red Horse. Matindi ang tama at sipa. Malamang binubuhat ka pag uwi. At di kumpleto ang inuman kung walang kwentuhan. Kailangan kasi may bote sa harapan para may mabuting pag-usapan. Di tulad ng mga kumare, sapat ng maupo sa hagdan at magtanggalan ng kuto, solb na sa palitan ng kuro-kuro tungkol sa latest na telenobela o di kaya showbiz chismax. Pero sa mga kumpare, kahit ano, under the sun, basta sa inuman, pwede pag usapan, politika at isports, kung bakit pwede o hindi pwede na si Pacman ay makikisawsaw pa sa larangan di naman niya linya. Buhay ng may buhay pakikialaman. Wag lang sariling buhay, baka away pa ang kahantungan. Nagagawi din sa usapang relihiyon - lalo na pag may napadaang karosa ng prusisyon, sabay kurus, sabay tanungan kelan huling nagsimba, at pag may nangaral, change topic agad at balik na sa ibang usapan, por exampol, kung sino ang karapat dapat lumaban kay Pacman. Sa boksing ha, di sa kongres. Minsan nagiging mainit ang usapan, dapat may referee lagi o di kaya magaling ka magtime-out at dumeretso na uwi sa bahay. Di naman lahat ng oras, inuman. May mag aalok din ng tubig, o kape. Kadalasan 3 in 1. Matagal na akong di nakatikim ng kapeng bigas, nung bata pa kami, nakatikim na ako nun, masarap, kakaiba, pero ngayon, wala na ata, mas mahal na kasi ang bigas. Masarap makipagkape at makipagkwentuhan, pag ginawa mo yun, tiyak, matagal tagal ang ilalagi mo. Madaming kumustahan at palitan ng opinyon. Ok lang kahit lumamig ang kape, di lang naman kasi inumin yan eh, sawsawan din ng pandesal. Panglinis daw, sa totoo, pangpalambot, pangpalasa. Naalala ko nung seminarista ako at nakitira kami sa Payatas. Unang umaga, bagong gising ako ng inalok ako ng kape. Syempre, umoo ako. Nang mapansin ko, di sila nagkape, kasya lang pala ang pera para sa isang kape lamang, kaya nagtiyaga sila sa mainit na tubig. Simula noon, bawat umaga, pag inalok ako ng kape, ang laging sagot ko, busog pa po ako. Dun ko din nalaman, first hand, na di BLD ang kain, hindi breakfast lunch at dinner. LD lang. Kung minsan, D lang. At walang merienda in between, makipaglaro ka na lang sa kalye. At ang mga binabalewalang parte ay mabenta sapagkat mas mura. Tulad ng ulo ng hipon, buntot ng biik, ulo ng manok (helmet tawag nun ha, meron din adidas, betamax at toknene pero di talaga sila ulam, snak). Damihan mo lang ng sabaw at kanin, sulit na. At kung wala talagang maiulam, sapat na ang de sabog - sabuyan mo ng asin ang kanin, ok ka na. Dun ako nangayayat ng di dahil sa pagdiet. Uulitin ko pa ba? Tiyak. San ka pa makakahanap ng kalis na nag-uumapaw di lang dahil sa biyayang materyal kundi, at higit sa lahat, sa maluwag na pagtanggap at mainit na pag-ibig na bigay?

Tinapay. Pulutan yan brad, di ulam. Yan ang paalala pag inuman. Kailangan pagkasyahin, sipag at tiyaga ang puhunan diyan, galing sa sweldo yan. Kung minsan nga, di bale ng walang pandesal sa almusal basta masarap ang timpla ng sawsawan ng pulutan. Mahal na kasi ang pandesal. Tumaas na ang presyo. Yung ibang panaderya naman, di nagbago ng presyo ng pandesal, binago naman ang laki. Lumiit na siya. Yan ang totoong dagdag bawas. At tanggap na ng karamihan ito, tulad ng pagtanggap natin sa mga nangyayari sa Comelec. Pero mas nakakagalit ito, nasa harapan kasi natin, at kahit anong pagpipiraso mo sa inis, lalamunin pa din. Di na kailangan pangaralan ang bata, ubusin mo yan, madaming nagugutom, kasi alam niya, ang katabi niyang kapatid, mismo ay gutom, at pag nag inarte siya, sa isang iglap, kukunin kaagad ang pagkain inayawan, mabilis pa sa tenkyu. 

Komunyon. Masaya ang salu-salo. Kung walang okasyon, mag-iisip ng dahilan. Minsan tong its. Minsan bingo. At engrande dapat kapag binyagan. Mag-iipon talaga. Kahit kinse anyos na si bunso at di pa talaga nabuhusan ng banal na tubig ng pagbibinyag, ok lang basta mag-iipon muna para may maipaghanda. Kahit libre ang binyag, magastos naman ang handa. At syempre, nakakahiya sa mga ninong at ninang. At mas bongga dapat ang kasalan. Mas matinding pag-iipon. Di baleng may apo na sa tuhod bago makatuntong sa altar. Basta maganda ang suot. At may belo at kordon. At malaki laki ang kandilang sisindihan. Para di mamatay agad. May pamahiin kasi, kung sino ang unang mamatayan ng kandila, siya ang unang mamamatay sa tunay na buhay. Katoliko tayo kaya di tayo naniniwala sa ganun. Pero mabuti na ang nakakasiguro. At kailangan mas madami ang handaan. Ninang ata si konsehala. Baka pumunta pa nga si bays meyor. Inuna pa naman siya sa listahan. Ok lang maihuli na ang ibang ninong at ninang. Back to back naman ang kontrak. Maiintindihan naman nila siguro yun. Masaya talaga pag nagkatipon-tipon. Walang katulad.

Paglisan. Matagal ang paalamanan. Swerte ka na kung makatatlong beses ka lamang ng paalam at makakaalis ka na. Unang paalam ay di hayag. Simpleng pagtingin sa wall clock pero dapat mapansin din nila na pasimple kang tumingin. Pangalawang paalam, di pa din hayag. Titingin sa sariling relo sabay iling. Kailangan simple pa din, at kailangan, pansin pa rin nila. Ba’t kaya tayo ganun? Ang hirap magsabi ng harap-harapan. Pero pag nakatalikod na ang tao saka na sasabihin ang lahat at wala namang nakikinig maliban kay Inday at Bantay. Kaya sa pangatlong paalam, saka na tatayo at magpapaalam. Op korz, pipigilan at sasabihin, mamaya na lang, di kailangan magmadali, nag-eenjoy ka naman di ba? Kaya uupo ulit. At uulitin ang step 1 to 3. At pagkaraan ng ilang sandali, saka na talaga magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob magpaalam at magsimulang pumunta sa pinto. Pag malakas ang convincing power ng maybahay, balik ka ulit sa upuan. At balik ka ulit sa step 1 to 3. Anyhow, pag totoong nakalapit ka na sa pinto, paalamanan at kwentuhan ulit yun. At sisiguraduhin mo ng wag magpapapilit bumalik sa step 1 to 3. Ok ka na pag nakalabas na ng pinto. Panibagong round ng paalaman at kwentuhan na naman. At kung malayo layo ang gate, kung may gate, kwentuhan at paalamanan habang naglalakad. At mauulit na naman ang eksena sa may pinto ng gate at sa may labas ng gate. At syempre, sigurado ka, di ka na pipilitin at di ka na papipilit bumalik pa ulit at ulitin na naman ang buong proseso. Di na nakakatuwa yun. Ganyan tayo magpaalam. Ang hirap magpaalam. Pero bahagi yan ng pag alis. Kasi bisita ka. Kasi di ka naman titira dun sa kanila. Di mo naman balak yun di ba? Ibang usapan na yun pag ganun. 

Sutana. Sabi sa liturhiya, ang sutana, o ang alba, strictly speaking, ika nga ng aking propesor, ay pagsimbolo ng pag-ibig ng Diyos na bumabalot sa sa atin. Hirap akong ipaliwanag yun sa bata, na natatawang nakatingin sa akin pag ako ay nakasutana, parang duster daw kasi na suot ng nanay niya. Ba’t kasi naisipan pa ng Diyos na ambonan ang ilang bata ng likas na kapilyuhan? Anyhow, may kanya-kanya tayong kasuutan, nagiging bahagi ito ng identity natin. Kaya may mga taong suot hiphop, yung iba naman rakista, at nagbabatuhan dahil sa itsura. Yan ang mas matinding hamon, kung paano ipapaliwanag na ang kasuutan ay pagsisimbolo ng pag-ibig ng Diyos na bumabalot sa atin. How how the kalabaw kaya, ika nga ng isang bata?

Masaya sa parokya. Makikita mo na ang tao, sa kabila ng kahirapan, makukuha pa ring ngumiti, sa kabila ng pighati, makukuha pa ring umawit, sa kabila ng kasalatan, makukuha pa ring magbahagi. Alam din naman natin na sa likod ng matunog na tawa ng isang tatay ay isang taong sugatan sa buhay, na sa likod ng mahigpit na yakap ng isang nanay ay isang taong nakaranas ng maraming pagtalikod, na sa likod ng mataas na lundag ng isang bata ay isang taong mapapaluhod din ng pait ng tadhana. Alam natin sapagkat di na natin kailangang lumayo pa, kailangan lang nating tumingin sa salamin. At kung bakit nakukuha pa rin nating magmisa - sa simbahan sa parokya o di kaya sa kalye ng buhay ay dahil alam natin, di tayo nag-iisa, na merong nakikilakbay sa atin, na sa bigat ng ating mga dalahin, siya mismo ang unang pumapasan, na sa lungkot ng ating mga nadarama, siya mismo ang unang napapaiyak, na sa kasayahan ng ating mga pagdiriwang, siya mismo ang nangungunang magpapadami ng masarap at matamis na alak. Di tayo nag-iisa, kaya tayo nagmimisa. 

8 fold path

This is my take on things related to priests doing ministry in parishes. In this time and age, various challenges are being posed to us priests assigned in parishes. I guess one cannot just say that the current various demands of ministry are not the things we have signed up for, we cannot even dare command the world to adjust to us. One can only take the plunge if one is to follow the command to cast into the deep, one can only plant the seeds if one is to hope to bear fruit. Again, this is not to say that these are things that I have done, rather, these are aspects that I am personally subscribing myself to, and I think all these will take a lifetime, or more, to undertake. I believe that I just have to take those fearful yet exciting baby steps to learn and balance the basics of what I fondly label as the 8 fold path to effective pastoral leadership that would hopefully lead all of us, priests and communities, towards the kingdom.

Spirituality: How does a priest pray? How does the lay pray? How do we live out our Spirituality and spiritualities and relate this to our communities’ every day life thereby providing meaning and hope?
Pastoral Theology: How do we do theology today, taking into consideration the socio-economic and political aspects of the country and even of the world?

Dogmatic Theology: What are the current trends in theology that would hopefully help shed light in our desire to read the signs of the times?

Canon/Legal Law: If Jesus did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill the law, what are the laws of the land and of the church today that we need to fulfill, to avoid, at the very least finding ourselves behind bars, legally and ecclesiastically speaking?

Communications Skills: If one of our assets, or liabilities, is our being speakers, homilists, how do we train ourselves to become effective in our being talkative?

Management and Leadership Skills: A parishioner explained to me the difference between sales and marketing – sales is one on one, while marketing is sales done through a system. To put our ministry in this way - confessions, anointing of the sick, counseling, etc, are our effective sales pitch of our product which is a loving relationship with our Lord. These are very important, for they help define and renew our priesthood, our relationships with community and God, in a very basic and personal way. But to be even more effective, what skills are we learning in order to effectively manage and lead our systems, most especially our best resources (parish leaders and volunteers), towards a systematic and organized marketing, witnessing to others on how Jesus has transformed each one of us?

Financial Literacy: Money should not be our primary concern but that does not mean that it should be taken for granted or that we relinquish all responsibility towards it. Since we have been given stewardship of parish and even our own personal funds, how do we effectively manage them so as to be accountable to the Lord when he goes back to check on the talents entrusted to us?

Computer and Technology Literacy: If they say before that he who has the gold makes the rules and if they say now, he who has the information makes the rules, can we say we are rulers, or followers, or worst, out of the loop?

I want to learn all these to develop the best assets that the priest can have in doing ministry– loving and thinking. These are very obvious and basic, I know, but most difficult, based on personal experience. I guess that’s why some experts say, very few people do it! But with best efforts and of course, God’s grace, nothing is impossible…

no mother teresa

I am no Mother Teresa.
I wish I am, I pray that I will be but I cannot. Not yet.
I hope I will get there. I’m getting there. I have taken the first single step, hopefully, the right one, many times over, frustratingly, and I know, this journey will take me a million miles, or more.
We often hear it being said, especially by priests, usually during 2nd collections - it is blessed to give than to receive. If you want to be blessed, give. Give until it hurts. Until, paradoxically, there is no more hurting but loving, the joy of giving.
I heard it all before. And before, I think it is a lot of crap.
Not anymore.
I have proven it in myself and saw it happened to others, a million times over, the more you give, the more you will receive. Give love and you will be loved back even more. Punch someone and that someone will hit you back, a lot stronger, if possible, if the other guy can help it! Give money and it will be returned to you - a hundred fold! Try it. I did. It worked! It’s not a lot of crap, really. I give even though it hurts for many of my friends know, I do not put a lot of money on my wallet, for fear of it being stolen, that’s how cynical I have become of human nature. I give even though it hurts for I know that the people I have given to will be unable to give them back, I do not expect them to, that is why giving becomes little less painful to the point that it doesn’t hurt anymore since I found that inner joy in giving. I admit it, it feels good to give, to help. Still, the point remains, if you give, it shall be given back to you, a hundred fold! That is why I give. A little selfish perhaps. But that is what happens - share and it shall be returned to you, and your cup will overflow! A case in point. A pregnant mother tearfully once approached me, knocking on the parish rectory, asking for help, for fare in order to go home to her parents in the province, for her husband abandoned her. I am not a good judge of people, but I can see in her face she abandoned her shame or hid most of it in order to risk being rejected or be helped. I gave her five hundred. Deep inside I felt a lot lonelier than Ninoy’s face on the bill for that was the only money left on my wallet! But I know that lady needs it more than I do. And so I gave. I wish I have given more but that’s all I can share. And when she left, she had that different step in her walk, and I even guessed the baby leapt in her womb as well! Soon after the woman left, a pretty lady, not pregnant physically, I assure you, but spiritually, I would soon come to believe, came knocking at the parish rectory and said - father, here’s 5 thousand. 5 thousand! And father, that is for your personal use, I have already given to the parish so don’t worry about the parish funds. God bless her! My heart leapt for joy, if not skipped a beat! Now I have a different problem - I do not know what to do with the money! That is, until the next beggar comes along…
Before, when I was a new priest, many people would approach me for help, and I would be so cautious in helping. Not about the spiritual help such as confession, counseling, advice, etc (those I can give generously and there’s still plenty of those from where they came from!). I was so hesitant in helping when it comes to material help - such as food (believe me, some people who claim to be hungry come to me with bodies bigger than mine), clothing (believe me, though no one has yet come to me fully naked and begging for a pair of clothes, most if not all come to ask for clothing fully covered, thank God!), and most especially money (for medicine, fare, delivery- about to give birth, believe it or not, and ransom - believe it or else!). I have been duped many times, even inside the confessional box, mostly inside the confessional box! That is why I believe the 80/20 rule is applicable even here - 80% of the people who needs help need help of the other kind, the mental one. 20% of the people who approach you really need the help of the kind they are asking for. And that is the frightening beauty about it, 20% of the help you give, hopefully contributes to 80% or more of the situations becoming fixed, resolved, with lives being healed or transformed, somehow, or something like that. That is why I give, for the sake of the 20% who really need help. To hell with the 80% who fooled me, pardon my expression. It is not my problem, it is theirs. Just so to protect myself, I follow my unwritten rule, no matter how often set aside, to give only once to a person who needs help, to paraphrase someone - fool me once, it’s your fault, fool me twice, it’s my fault; ask for my help once and you really need help, ask for my help twice and I really need help! That is why I give, because someone needs help, and more importantly, because I have something to give. And I hold it in my heart that God will bless me, in ways beyond what my limited imagination can think of.
I am no Mother Teresa but that will not stop me from giving, that’s the least I can do.

loser

There are many ways to lose in tennis.
The first is by default. Failure to be present. Out of sickness or injury, or unawareness of schedule. Or one does not show up for fear of knowing who is the better player. That is the worst kind of losing.
The second is through errors, mistakes. The opponent scores more by the mistakes you make rather than by the good shots that he does. It is a good way of losing, at least you know that, when you minimize your mistakes, you maximize your chance of winning.
The third is that the other player played better than you. There is no excuse. One should be happy and gracious enough to acknowledge that the other player is better, that the other player has better strokes and even bigger heart. That is a better way of losing, to lose to someone better than you. That is the challenging part. Someday, you hope to win by becoming a better player than the best players you have played with.
There are many ways to lose in life. Just don’t lose by default, by not showing up. Choose to lose the better way hoping that one day you will get to win.

winning or enjoying?

I enjoy playing tennis. No, make that, I love playing tennis.
I am sometimes addicted to it, I have to fight that uncontrollable urge to play, and it is something I have to manage, every day. Oftentimes I find myself in a losing battle.
I do not only enjoy playing tennis. I enjoy winning. I love winning. Nothing gives me more of a rush than an enjoyable game where I get to win.
Someone asked me, what is more important for you, enjoying or winning?
Both, I answered.
I love the game. And I love to win.
Sometimes I lower my expectations or change them depending on who I’m playing with, if I’m teaching, coaching or socializing. But if given the chance to play with a better player, Im out to win. Period.
I enjoy playing because it is something that gives me not only the chance to exercise, to take my mind out of a lot of things but it is also something very challenging - no two days, opponents, sets, games, or even points are alike.
I love to win not only out of a natural instinct but out of passion, not just to survive, but to do it with a lot of heart.
Which is more important, winning or enjoying?
Both.
As in life, enjoying life and winning in life. Both are important.
As Jesus says, I have come that you may have fullness of life. Jesus did not come to make our lives miserable, rather, he came for us to recover that zest for the life that is his gift.
As St. Paul says, run so as to win. To win others for Christ. To have everyone finish the game of life, with a smile on their faces. Some strive to win and equip themselves accordingly so that others may lose. We must strive to equip others so that everyone will win, will finish the race, rich or poor, healthy or crippled, everyone is given the chance to finish, thus win.
Which is more important in life, winning or enjoying?
Both.
The game is on.

reader?

One time I found myself having time on my hands so I settled down on my bed to read.
My precocious little nephew, who was with me on a visit, snuggled up to me and asked, “Tito, what are you doing?” (Kids are really, naturally inquisitive). I replied, I’m reading. “I know you are reading, its obvious. What are you reading?” (Now, he got me!) I’m reading a book, Leadership 101 by John Maxwell. (Hoping that I’ll get him also). “Why, are you a leader?”
Hmmm (he got me again!). No, not really, not in the true sense of the word.
(What happened afterwards was the conversation I carried on in my mind.)
(What actually happened was that I gave him a big hug and kiss, got the TV remote and switched it to Cartoon Network.)
Why do I read books on leadership, management, spirituality? Am I a leader, manager, spiritual master? No, not really, but I hope to be. Now, that is one hell of a dream.
Have I seen and heard about the best leaders, managers, spiritual masters read books on leadership, management, spirituality? Not really. Maybe they read about these things, but think they have become masters at what they do, they have taken the next step - write about it, share it, give back,
I am just starting on my way to to be at that point of being able to say, I tried to be there and do that. They, on the other hand, have already arrived at that point, and are even on their way back to tell us, to tell me, it can be done, it is possible. That is why I read what they have to say, to listen to them, to allow them to teach me, that yes, nothing is impossible.
And by the way, I am not watching cartoons with my nephew because I am a kid, but for the same exact reasons why I read…

writer?

Why do I write?
Many successful writers, or teachers on writing, advise that if you aspire to be a writer, then attempt to write everyday, to develop those writing chops, as it were, to have that greater command of the language.
I do write, not everyday though, but when I feel like it. I write when I feel I have to, not because of deadlines, Im a crammer and I hate deadlines for they paralyze me.
I write not for the money, I often give my two cents worth but I doubt if others would even put that much value in what I have to say.
I write not for the fame. I do feel that fame is a fickle muse and should not be chased around. It is one great motivator I believe for most writers but one of the worst reasons for writing.
I write maybe to share. To let others know not just what’s on my mind but what I’m going through.
Fr Tom Green, SJ, was once asked, when are you going to write your next book? and he answered, I’ll write when I have something new to write about, I don’t want to repeat myself. Very well said, I believe.
Well, why do I write when I cannot even consider myself a writer? I write mostly for myself, to make sense out of all the people, things and events I get to face and confront, to keep my sanity in the midst of all the madness that is life. For now, that is the sole and primary reason why I write, hoping to find salvation at most or clarity at the least, for I find that in writing I find the spark, the light to guide me out of the many darknesses I find myself in.

team

I have been gifted with good teams in communities I have been blessed to serve.
When I choose someone to be part of the team, I am often asked what is my criteria. I answer with a lot of mumbo jumbo - integrity, qualified, accepted by the community, leadership skills, prayerfulness. As if I have a tried and tested measuring stick. Actually, I follow the simplest way - I choose someone who is far better than me in a particular field, generally in 4 aspects - intelligence, experience, commitment, holiness. Not that I have a tried and tested measuring stick. I just rely on 2 things - first impression (gut instinct) and lasting impression (repeated exposure to the person). To put it harshly, when assembling a team, I should be the stupidest, least experienced, most uncommitted, unholiest member. It just so happened that I am the team leader (the parish priest, the spiritual director, the department head) who provides direction at the most and the stamp of approval at the least.
As a side comment, I find myself in a different situation when I belong/ed to institutions where I am given the option to fire people. I do exercise that right when I have to, though often as a last resort, in the most exhaustive and painful way. But if I do need to make that difficult choice, whether to advance the goals of the institution or of the person, I will choose the greater good, that is the community, and in hindsight, the win-win situation is to help the person find his/her fulfillment elsewhere. In parish settings, one cannot fire people, how do you fire volunteers? One should consider himself lucky enough (or trustworthy and charismatic, maybe) to get volunteers without cajoling and begging them to be part of a vision. Still, people should be given opportunities to exit gracefully if they find that they find it difficult to work with the team.
Going back to the topic, I have a simple test on how to assemble a team - I make myself the standard, and members of the team should be better than me. That is the security I find myself in when in a team. And of course, I also take comfort in the fact that we have the best member/team leader on the team however which way you look at it - God.

spirituality of the street

I hope to subscribe to and I am begging for that grace to be given me to have that spirituality that do not only have hands clasped in holy embrace and feet that knelt down in loving adoration of the saving presence of Christ in the Eucharist but also in a spirituality that do have hands dirtied and dignified by laboring with and callused feet that journeys with in loving adoration of the saving presence of Jesus in the ravaged bodies of his people…

pandora's box

2 Sundays ago, with the Gospel of John 6: 24-35 (I am the Bread of Life) as basis, I delivered my homily on two points: 
Love of Money. 
Love of God. 
I shared that we should have that love for money. It is not the root of evil. We need money. Money buys us food. Gives us shelter. Provides education for our children. In short, money help us meet our basic needs. We need money, that is why we work, that is why we need to earn a living. 
My eldest brother shared to me that in the book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, it says, money is not the root of evil. Rather, it is the lack of money! If you will not work for yourself and provide for your family, that is evil. If others, if structures will not allow you to care for yourself and your family, that is evil. 
The spiritual masters have also taught us this - inordinate attachment to anything is evil. Love of money is not evil, too much love of money is evil!
To illustrate my point, allow me to take this further. Let us interchange money with food, with shelter. Lack of food is evil. Lack of shelter is evil. It is sinful. By our causing or by the sinful, oppressive structures around us, evil happens. 
We need to balance this however, for though we are physical beings, physical bodies in need of physical nourishment, we are also spiritual beings, souls in need of spiritual nourishment. That is why we should develop an even greater love, if not, the greatest love we could ever have - love of God.  For though we work in this part of the kingdom, our labors are for our master and friend, that we may be considered worthy of that Kingdom. 
This was what I recall sharing. 

Now, while on retreat, I finished reading a letter I brought with me, a very long letter from a parishioner, 8 pages in fact, in yellow pad, handwritten, noted to be started at 3AM. She shared her travails in life, her difficulty to put food on the table, to provide medicines even education for her family especially her young, sickly children, her husband’s failure to land a secure job, her inability to pay of debts including loans from our microlending program. Structures, systems, people, even the fates are not turning in her favor. And she is falling out from the community because she did not feel the concern except for a few, a few who dared risk investing time and effort to visit her (she noted that these were people who were not regular church goers but faithful friends) and ask her how she is doing, a few who somehow provided a lifeline to her and the community with whom she is ready to disconnect herself from out of the feeling that all is just lip service, a show, a smoke screen. At the beginning of her letter, she affirmed what I have stated in my homily - that lack of money is evil. 
I am at a loss. I have said what I have said. I have opened Pandora’s box. Though taken aback, I know what I have to do. I have no intention and I will never attempt to take back my words, to stash away and hide the evils that we have and done, even my own inability to provide or even at least seek concrete answers. I can only attempt to tame, to name. I can only hope that in time, our community will be able to drive these evils out with our real concern, with our concrete compassion, with our faith that does justice. I know these will not only be a very frightening road but a most lonely one - I just pray that I will have that enough courage and sincerity to walk that lonely road for many are walking that path, including Jesus, hungry, naked and oppressed. 

Prayer to Christ Crucified

Prayer to Christ Crucified
(Prayer at the End of the Retreat, St Scholastica’s, Tagaytay)

Dearest Lord,
Crucified and abandoned on the cross.
I thank you for the gift of the retreat.
A luxury of time, of space, that allowed me not only to pray
But to rest in your love as well.
A necessity for someone who desires to take up one’s cross
And follow you.

Thank you for the gift of ministry,
For having been able to see you
In the crucified lives of people I serve.
For the grace of being able to wash the feet of the least of my brethren
For in doing so, I may become a student eagerly learning at the foot of the Master.
I ask forgiveness for the many times I have not been able to take your beloved people down from the violent cross which your love meekly embraced.
I ask for strength
And hope
And assurance
That for the sowing that I do
Others will do the reaping.
And even then,
Even if no assurance will come
Comfort me in the realization
That it is not my work but yours
That it is not my mission but yours.
I pray that at the least you will make me
The disciple whom you loved
Who will be beside Mother Mary
Who knelt and wept and embraced
Your dead and bloodied body
Taken down from the cross.

Thank you for the gift of your presence,
For having been able to gaze at you,
Wounded, broken and dead.
In the quiet solitude of my room
In the comforting refuge of nature
In the holy sanctuary of the chapels
And in all the lonely places I found myself praying.

Thank you for the gift of a meaningful and fruitful retreat.
Not just for the graces received
Not just for the insights gained
Not just for the patient and wise guides,
But most of all
For you
For being you
For being able to be with you
For being able to die with you.
That in so doing, you may give me new life.
That in so doing, you may remember me when you come into your kingdom.
Amen.

4 Quadrants

I’ll be joining my brother priests for our annual retreat. I’m preparing myself by trying to integrate my current experiences and reflections on my priesthood and the challenges being faced right now not just by me but I believe by priests in our diocese. I hope this could also help out remove the tune Nobody which has been playing out in my head for some time, hahaha. I know that playing a solo piano version in the background doesn’t help one bit but I’m not playing the actual song because I don’t understand the lyrics anyway. : )
To contextualize, there is a shortage of priests in the diocese, almost all are pastors, and all taking on multiple tasks. There is such shortage that priests from other dioceses and congregations have been requested to help out in the ministry. Much have been accomplished but also much have been direct causes for misdirection or burn-out. This is not bragging nor complaining, just a statement of fact.
Diversity of personalities. We are a small community of priests, and the differences of opinions, personalities and skills could either drive one to excel, to have fun and enjoy the biodiversity, or to go crazy…
Diversified needs. At the same time, each of us, in our different stages in life, have different needs that should be addressed or met. I guess that is the reason why we go crazy sometimes, there are needs that are unacknowledged or unmet.
80/20 rule. In the workplace, it is said that 80% of the work is done by 20% of the workers. 80% of our success comes from 20% of our efforts. I’m not wondering if this is applicable to us priests, what I’m wondering about is whether we are ready to acknowledge this rule.
Myths. Priests are shock absorbers. Priests can take it. Priests have been there, done that.
Priests are humans, like you. And me.

In my experience as a diocesan priest, in my inter-action with brother priests, I have observed that we parish priests often operate on the following 4 quadrants - sacramental, pastoral, administrative, personal. I believe it is our way of expressing not just our ordained priesthood but our very selves deeply changed by the gift of the call.
1. Sacramental.
Eucharist. This occupies a central part of our lives, whether we like it or not. We celebrate it everyday, in the parish church, in chapels and funeral homes, in big company buildings and narrow streets. We celebrate it on Sundays in places packed with people whom we rarely see on weekdays but with the prayer that where ever they are, they bring with them the message of hope. We celebrate it with people who value it deeply and we share it even with those who take it for granted or see it apart from what it is, but rather as a prelude to a function or an event. We celebrate it to bestow meaning in the actions through our presence, we celebrate it because it gives meaning to all our actions. The Eucharist allows us to bring Christ to the community and at the same time we invite Christ to be part of our selves. The Eucharist is everything that we are and we hope to be.
Sacraments and sacramentals. Baptisms, confirmations, weddings, confessions, anointing of the sick, ordinations, house blessings, novenas, etc - these are special moments of community gathered together in grief or in celebration, knitted together by that deep bond called humanity and weaved together by that even deeper bond called Christ’s love.
Too much emphasis results in the priest being so high up there in the clouds thereby losing touch with the community. The same happens with the community, the liturgy in the church becomes disconnected with the liturgy of life. Ministers often do not correlate their service in the liturgy with their vocation to serve Christ in their every day life situations.
De-emphasizing results in the desacralization of the priest. The priest loses that certain mystique because of the disconnection with the mystery.
Bottom line - This is the priest in us, his love, his heart beating for that one true love - God. This is the priest touching base with the Mystery.

2. Pastoral
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I wish I had paid more attention to my basic psychology lessons. Not just to understand myself. But more so to understand the community.
Basic Needs. I guess it is not a coincidence that when a retreat or spiritual talk is announced, only a few people attend and when feeding, medical/dental, livelihood services are offered, the parish is overflowing with people. We have to accept the reality that basic needs must be met first of all. Salvation offered by Jesus is not just of the spirit but of the body as well.
Higher Needs. Prayer is basic in our life. It gives us the connectedness with a higher being who bestows on us a purpose and direction in life. At times it is taught, it is learned, at times it is imbibed, it comes naturally. For some, this is a luxury, for others, the only resort and hope. Either way it gives us the awareness we need something more, or more correctly, someone.
Too much emphasis results in the priest losing ironically his prophetic role - that of pointing to the reality that the journey towards the realization of the kingdom happens in the here and now but that the realization happens not here but in God’s time and place.
Taking this for granted results in the priest and community losing touch with reality, with the realities of the world.
Bottom line - This is the prophet in us, not just the voice crying in the wilderness but also the hands and the feet, walking the talk, journeying with us in the wilderness of our society, of our church, of our lives. Much of the relational aspect is stressed but so must also be the liberation from our current situation towards the heavenly vision - people living together in peace.

3. Administrative
Managerial skills. I guess if we will liken our church to a business corporation, we will be geared towards people support. How effective are we in managing people to achieve our mission?
Leadership skills. As a church, we have a vision - to be Christ like, to follow Christ. How effective are we in leading others toward that dream?
Too much emphasis and the church becomes a corporation, nothing else but a company to be run with people to be managed and a plan to be realized.
Take this for granted and the church becomes a disorganized group of people doing things out of obligation or tradition or worse out of vested interests.
Bottom line - This is the king in us, the head taking the lead not just in ideas but in journeying with the community, exercising stewardship of the community. Sometimes the methods that worked before will not work now, still we are comforted with the fact that we may discover and even stumble upon better methods. Sometimes we may be exasperated that the principles behind the methods may not be applicable and that the rules have changed midway and that is why there is such a thing as grace - we cannot go at it alone, we need God.

4. Personal
Spiritual. Spiritual direction is important, correction, make that essential. So is a spiritual guide who will objectively help discern the movements of the spirits, who will help bring about integration. To paraphrase Mother Teresa, no one is so wise as not to learn from someone, no one is so ignorant as not to impart any valuable teaching. Annual Retreats, personal prayer time - these are touchstones, milestones for the journey.
Emotional. I need to more and more understand people why they are the way they are, why they talk, act and treat others the way they do. That is why I also need to understand myself why I am the way that I am, why I talk, act and treat others the way I do.
Physical. Health is wealth. Enough said.
Hobbies. This is one way of assessing our passions, our interests in a fun way.
Education. Life is a school, don’t stop learning, don’t drop out. Unless of course life drops you.
Financial security. Basic rules - Do not spend more than you have. Do not spend more than the average parishioner so as to avoid scandalizing others. If you can, live like Mother Teresa and follow the invitation of Jesus to the rich young man. If you cannot yet do that, live simply. KISS - keep it simple, stupid.
This principle is so true yet often taken for granted - you cannot lead others if you cannot even lead yourself.
Too much emphasis and the priest sends the message he is out only for himself, to save his own skin. The call to kenosis, self-emptying, the gift of agit in persona Christi, acting in the person of Christ becomes lip service.
Taking this for granted results in the priest looking funny and even laughable to others, literally saving others but not himself.
Bottom line - This is our body and soul, we only have one of each, we need to have proper stewardship of self, unless in the future there will be such things as transplants of body and soul, which I doubt would ever happen.

Balance is key. That is why its called holiness. Wholeness. Grow one part of the quadrant, of the body and you will look weird. Find oneself at the center and be grounded, it is a skill and an art - something I haven’t perfectly learned yet, I doubt if I ever would, but that’s part of the challenge, and the excitement. I am a work in progress. One of the best things in life (aside from spending time with friends and loved ones and a really good game of tennis) is to be able to ask the right questions (I guess it does not matter much if we get to the point of finding the answers), to find and hold the key, and to have a plan. I know other priests have their own set of plans and quadrants that were of great help to them in realizing their priesthood and making the most of it and bearing fruit as Jesus has commanded. For me, this has been most helpful personally and if it can help others, then it is an added bonus.
Core Competence. This is something I ascribed to. Do not settle to be a jack of all trades and a master of nothing. Do not be average. If I want to be remembered for something after I die, then I need to start building memories. Today.
I’ve noticed that some priests, not just by age, can be labeled old school where there are fixed rules and strategies. They have their advantages. There is also such a thing as new school where rules and boundaries are ever changing. This is exciting yet frightening times. Challenging times. Still, no matter what school we come from, we only have one teacher and we need to know and do the most important thing - to bring about the presence of Christ and to do his mission.
We are now faced with challenges of presenting in new ways the faith that remains unchanged. The priest, for me, that will be most fruitful, if not successful, is the priest that will be able to adjust well in being in the world but not of the world. Personally, being a priest for more than 5 years led me to face realities that I have come to even more understand and appreciate as I dig deeper and still, as priests, we continue to journey into the depths and heights of our faith, of our world, of our God, and as we fall more and more into the deep abyss of the Mystery, the only thing we can hold on to is the faith that at the deepest end of our falling is the loving arms of God…